If we don’t experience bonding and kind, loving attention in our childhood, and even in the womb, we starve energetically. We feel that the life force is drained out of us, We feel cut off from the flow of the subtle substance that ties all life together. The world becomes an unsafe, dangerous place. We wilt, we despair, or we become aggressive. In any case, there is an unbelievable amount of emotional pain and agony involved. And, as modern neurological research proves, even the physical structure of our brain alters not for the better.
I have a black-and-white photo of my parents and me that was taken when I was a little girl (in those days, cameras did not date pictures).
The three of us are placed on a sofa. My father and my mother are staring with stony faces straight into the camera. I am wedged between them, limbs twisted, looking spaced out and uncomfortable. There is obviously not enough room left between them for me to sit in a relaxed way, leave alone any physical or emotional connection between the three of us. Actually, my parents, each in their own world, are completely oblivious to the fact that there is a child, their child present. I am Invisible to them, and I have to struggle to find my space, any space.
I always found that photo very telling. It is a snapshot of my whole childhood. We have not been a family at all, right from the beginning on.
The feeling of being invisible or having no voice often starts very early on. Who do you think gets more attention, is more visible to its parents: A baby that is being eagerly awaited, or a baby that is unwanted for whatever reason? The difference plays out especially in the mother’s thoughts, emotions, and actions. And we know. We always know.
However, being invisible can have other roots, like women in general being less valued and pushed into the background in certain cultures, racial prejudice, or not being physically attractive (too plain, too fat, too old…) according to ugly, collectively agreed upon standards.
Now, what is the Spiritual Gift of such an experience, such a painful condition?
It’s not easy, especially when you are young. I call it having Soul Eyes. That means, learning to see through and beyond the obvious, the external, the superficial. Because of that, being sensitive, intuitive, inclusive and compassionate. Feeling the beautiful energy of a person rather than evaluating their looks or antics. Striving to connect to the soulful essence of a person. Seeing from the heart, not just with the eyes, and that includes recognizing the beauty and worthiness of yourself.
What is invisible on the surface of our loud, trivial, judgmental world, is precious and clearly visible from the Soul Perspective, the higher worlds.