Effective Communication is just as much about hearing as it is about being heard. Effective Communication – The Secret To Getting What You Want     Over the years, I’ve written a lot about effective communication. These skills are more vital than ever before, as we’re living in a time of rampant misinformation, misunderstanding, and miscommunication. When we communicate effectively, we get more of what we want and less of what we don’t want. Effective communication is the ability to briefly and concisely convey the message we want to get across. It’s about speaking clearly but also listening carefully. After all, the root of the word “communicate” is “commune,” or come together. Effective communication is just as much about hearing as it is about being heard. Too often we’re so focused on whether the other person is listening to us that we forget to listen to them. But, if it’s a one-sided conversation, it’s not communication, it’s badgering. One common problem with communication is that we make assumptions and jump to conclusions. Rather than paying attention to what the other person is saying, we finish their sentence in our mind and come to our own conclusions. As a psychotherapist, there have been many times when I’ve started a sentence with a patient, and they’ve finished it for me, but it wasn’t at all what I was going to say. My patient assumed that I was going in one direction when I was going in another. In a therapy session, it’s not so difficult for the speaker to clarify their intention, but if the listener is doing this elsewhere, their tendency toward assumptions can lead to unfortunate misunderstandings and unpleasant interactions. We may have a sense of where someone is heading in the conversation, but it’s always better to be patient...

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