Being abused as a child convinces children that they’re “bad,” and they deserve the same Abusive mistreatment in their adult relationships. Childhood Trauma May Leave You Vulnerable To Abusive Relationships As An Adult It is the holiday season and often thoughts turn to love. Those who are already in relationships are enjoying all the benefits of couple-hood. Some people, however, aren’t very happy at all. These are the ones who are in abusive relationships. The term, “abusive relationship” is thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? In my experience as a therapist, it’s a Relationship that causes more harm than good. It’s an interaction that’s damaging and undermining as opposed to loving, supportive and uplifting. An abusive relationship can be hurtful in any number of ways — physically, emotionally, sexually or financially. The abuser is often contemptuous, crazy-making, humiliating, intimidating and/or rejecting. This type of relationship makes the abused person feel diminished and humiliated. It makes them feel stupid, ugly, useless and undeserving of good things. The abuser may even make their victim feel incompetent and incapable of self-care or of holding down a job. Abusers are ultra-controlling and hyper-critical. They may separate their partner from their support system and from anyone who could point out what the abuser is actually doing. They destroy their partner’s confidence and convince their partner that they can’t survive without them. Sometimes, they’ll threaten to attack their partner if they talk about leaving the relationship. They don’t mean to do this, but their trauma history sets them up for it. A romantic connection should make both partners happy. The relationship should bring out the best in both people and make them feel good about themselves. It should be predominantly enjoyable and enriching, and less frequently unpleasant or stressful. Abusive relationships have...

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