Do you worry too much about what other’s think? Do you have an Addiction to approval? by Tess Pender  Break the Addiction to Approval and Become Immune to Praise and Blame Newly ordained ministers are warned to never listen to the comments at the end of a service.  After delivering a sermon, the Minister stands at the door of the sanctuary and says goodbye to the congregation, and is frequently complimented on the vital, life-changing content of the sermon!  Sometimes, they are told what significant points they missed, or how off the mark they were.  In any case, the warning is to recognize that the praise or complaints are NOT directed to them, but to the projection of the Divine the congregant is addressing. It’s actually easy to shake off complaints.  We are taught from an early age that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”   And ignoring the obvious untruth of the ditty, (yes, words can do incredible damage) we are regularly encouraged to let criticism slide off.  We at least learn to conceal our pain under a “thick skin” and are taught not to be so sensitive. Learning to let go of compliments is much harder!  We all want to be a force for good, and recognition of our victories is sweet.  The only ones taught to reject – or deflect – praise seems to be gospel singers (finger pointing up, “all praise to God”), black sports stars from majority-black churches (“I thank the Lord who gives me everything”), and some followers of eastern Gurus (accepting an award with “for God and Guru”)! The trend to encourage self-respect fuels the addiction to approval and praise, as do our electronic devices!  We are taught not to deflect praise (oh, this old thing?) but to accept...

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