Climbing the ladder back up. We fall down, we do, but we have to get back up and continue on, the trick is talking yourself back into being interested in the climb, not where you think you should be.
I thought I had to make myself get up and get back right to where I was when I fell off or down right away. It was hard, always a forced sense going on or strained recommencement of some practice I thought would do it for me.
Like meditating when I had just lost my temper, when a few breaths would have done, or thinking a higher level spiritual thought when my last one had been entirely about my ego’s hurt feelings.
We do want to get back to the highest point we last achieved, we do, and we can and we will. But we need to be where we are first. Low.
Every low place requires only one thing, a movement away from it, an impetus.
And these first movements may not even look like steps at all, they may, in fact, appear like more wallowing or repeating of the pain problem. Yet, if we change our desire or at least think that we do want to feel better than where we are right now, that thought is our first step. Who knows how long this thought will take to come and it may not even appear with clarity, it just may be a worn-out kind of feeling, of having no-more inside to let out.
Often, we crash from high places, it makes sense, the crash is always going to be more painful the higher in our thinking we have become or the longer our periods of joy are held for. We feel our losses more acutely and our egos cry out more sharply and wanting attention placed back on them and their needs attended too. Is its self-survival, to make us respond and hurt under its commands.
And we do, the Heart Worker, we are not perfected, just able to hold for longer and longer periods of time the thought that we are complete when we hold ourselves in the presence of Love- because we are.
But this effort and state, it is not total in us yet, so we fall back to the ego and resume the inner conflict of Love over fear, although we may not initially understand it as that.
We may believe that someone is deliberating hurting us or being difficult or nasty, we may take what we see in them as real and feel under attack. This is part of learning the trade. We visit the Heart Chamber and we cry, initially, at all the injustices and inhumanity we see, at all the atrocities and cruelties to our fellow brothers whether they be human or animal or plant, we see it all through an opening heart chamber and it makes us pain and weep.
Take heart (😊) this is just the beginning.
We must learn to trust that Love will heal our vision enough to see that we are all suffering whether in body, heart or mind and once we understand that healing, real healing, begins with our own, we resume the trek out from where we landed and may still be laying.
Out of the ego thought systems that tell us we are only a body and frail and weak and always going to be hurt and pained. Again, I say we must be brave, us heart initiates and prepare ourselves to leave the battleground to go and rest in Love.
And this takes courage. Not aggressive, ‘I can do this!’ sort of courage but quiet determination and lots of persisting patience. We need to be very kind to ourselves and learn to want Loves way more than the human way.