Art by Kyume.
Search engines have this feature where if you start to type a question, it will attempt to predict your question based on what other people have asked.
This has some hilarious consequences.
Sometimes this feature gets gamed by large hordes of shitty people (read: 4chan) typing provocative questions into search engines.
Let’s take a look at some of the questions that real people and/or astroturfing trolls have asked Google about the furry fandom and its members.
Answers to Questions People Asked Google About Furries
Note: This is just a subset of all the questions that showed up in Google’s autocomplete for various questions about Furries. A lot of the questions are inappropriate or are framed so poorly that they’re not worth answering in the first place.
Do Furries Have Rights?
Yes. Specifically: The same rights as anyone else in the country they live in.
Do Furries Say UwU?
Do Furries Deserve Rights?
I’m glad that matter’s settled, aren’t you?
Do Furries Talk?
If we didn’t, people wouldn’t be so desperate to shut us up, now would they?
But some fursuiters do choose to remain silent in fursuit.
Do Furries Want to Be Animals?
We already are animals: Humans are animals.
I mean, really, the only other options are vegetable, mineral, fungus, or microbe.
Do Furries Want to Be Non-Human Animals?
Much better question!
The people who believe they are (spiritually or otherwise) a non-human animal are called otherkin or therian, not furries.
Do Furries Go to Comic Con?
This really shouldn’t surprise anyone. Furries are nerds. Nerds go to cons.
Do Furries Go to the Vet?
Not only do we not go to the vet, but we’ve historically done a poor job of vetting the people who rise in popularity in our community… which usually resulted in completely avoidable PR disasters that trolls happily abuse, to this day, to try to astroturf the general public into thinking we’re horribly depraved people.
See what I did there? :3
Why Do Furries Matter?
That’s a rather nihilistic question to ask, and it was the most popular “why?” question, to boot.
Why, indeed, do any of us matter?
In a societal sense, I would argue that furries matter because of all the reasons I outlined in this blog post.
Namely, the furry fandom saves lives, provides a support system for a lot of LGBTQIA+ people, and is home to some of the best humans you’ll ever meet (including many that are absolutely vital to modern telecommunications infrastructure, i.e. the Internet).
But at the end of the day, this is a deeply personal question and will ultimately boil down to individual opinion and thus is unanswerable.
Why Do Furries Use Telegram?
Counter-question: Have you ever heard of the network effect?
Telegram supported custom stickers before any other major communication medium, so they’ve been accumulating furries for many years before the other platforms caught up.
The main reasons furries choose Telegram today are:
- Their friends are already using it
- They can effectively reply to messages with custom stickers of their fursona, rather than just plaintext or emoji
That being said, many furries these days use Discord too. Main reasons: Gaming and streaming.
Why Do Furries Like Foxes?
There really isn’t a good answer to this question.
The best approximation you’ll find is that: Foxes used to be an extremely popular choice in cartoon animal character design (Disney’s Robin Hood, Star Fox 64, Sajin Komamura from Bleach, etc.).
Also: Wolves are actually more popular than foxes by a significant margin.
Why Do Furries Like Wolves?
Have you ever read a Jack London novel?
Why Do Furries Wear Fursuits?
Answers to this question will vary depending on who you ask. Some common responses:
- Because it’s fun to physically present to other people as a character you personally identify with.
- Because it brings genuine joy to other people.
- Because it helps the fursuiter cope with social anxiety and shyness.
- Because some people think they look cool.
- Because they’re literally a piece of art you can (and are encouraged to) wear to parties.
- Because it’s a hobby and looking further into it is either misleading or reductive.
But most furries (roughly 75%) don’t own a fursuit. (They ain’t cheap!)
Why Do Furries Say OwO?
It’s an emoticon! OwO is like a sideways :3 face, but with surprised eyes. It comes from copypasta started by a shitpost mocking the typical behavior and communication style of furry roleplayers.
How Do Furries Talk?
Rather well, thank you.
Oh wait, you wanted to know about the anatomy that enables speech? Ask a biologist with a passing interest in science fiction and/or werewolves.
How Do Furries Work?
The same way most of us work these days:
How Do Furries Feel About Cats?
Severely allergic. But that’s just me.
Feline fursonas (cats of all sizes) are almost as common as canid fursonas (wolves, foxes, etc.).
If you’re expecting to see us fight like cats and dogs, you’re in for some disappointment.
How Do Furries Make Money?
A lot of us work in tech!
But not all furries work in tech. You can find us in pretty much every vocation and profession imaginable.
How Do Furries Go to the Bathroom?
Generally, fursuiters have to undress before they can do their business, then redress after.
Non-fursuiters? Same as anyone else.
Can I Hunt Furries?
No, that’s stupid.
Furries are humans (and humans are animals).
Wanting to hunt furries is completely sociopathic and immoral.
You’re effectively asking if it’s okay to commit murder against a predominantly LGBTQIA+ community.
But Since Furries Want to Be Animals, We Should Be Allowed to Hunt Them!
No, of course not. Not unless we can hunt you too, anyway!
No, but seriously, if you feel like you should be allowed to “hunt” other people, there is something deeply wrong with you and you should seek therapy before you hurt an innocent person.
Are Furries Legal?
Yes. Why wouldn’t we be?
There may be a lot of nuances to this question. (Are fursuits legal in $venue? That will depend on mask laws, etc.)
I am not a lawyer. Ask Boozy instead.
Are Furries Into Animals?
No. Furries are not “into” real animals, especially if you use that term idiomatically to refer to sexual attraction.
A lot of people assume otherwise, including some depraved people who are “into” animals and think the furry community will support their proclivities.
But the simple answer is: Sick people like that don’t belong in furry.
Are Furries a Gender?
Categorically no, but if someone wants to use a fursona to express their gender, more power to them.
Gender and fandom interests are orthogonal.
Are Furries an LGBTQIA+ Identity?
No, but most of us happen to be some other LGBTQIA+ identity, so a lot of hateful people like to target furries as a dog-whistle for their actual bigotry.
Those are all the appropriate and interesting questions I could find through Google’s search prediction feature. If I missed any that are worth including, let me know on Twitter or Telegram.
This post first appeared on Dhole Moments - Software, Security, Cryptography, And The Furry Fandom, please read the originial post: here