'You know, sometimes I feel I don't belong. When I was in my early twenties, I was the demographic society and corporations catered to. It's a beautiful feeling being sought after, even if it's just for money. You felt flattered by songs you could relate to, movies you could identify yourself by, adverts you felt spoken to and a global community you felt acknowledged by.

Ever since my late twenties all the way to now, my mid thirties, I feel abruptly dropped by the world, left in the cold. The artists and media personalities are much younger than me. The movies don't relate to me. Adverts don't speak to me. Society doesn't care about me anymore. I'm out the picture. Gone are the hey days where I was the sh*t.
Now, everything I see in the media, no matter what country I go to, is for young people: the early twenty somethings I once used to be. It sucks! I can barely enjoy mainstream entertainment. I had to degrade my standard and force myself to like a younger generation of creators, just to stay relevant and be among the masses who like them, too. People like Chris Brown, Rihanna, Drake, Kendall Jenner, Diggy Simmons, Mindless Behaviour, Kid Ink, Tinashe, Fetty Wap, Samantha J, Fifth Harmony, Little Mix, Jason Derulo, Ty Dolla Sign, Trey Songz, Migos, Jay Sean, Davido, Wizkid, P Square, Naeto C, M.I., Wande Coal, Eldee, Vanessa Mdee, Tiwa Savage, Sheyi Shay, Diamond Platnumz, Sarkodie, Fuse ODG, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Charlie XCX, Rita Ora, Kesha, Kat Deluna, Cassie, Ne-Yo, The Weeknd, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, Arianna Grande, Demi Lovato, Avril Lavigne - the list goes on.

All these guys are much younger than me and they're the sh*t. But younger people watch them. I'm not targeted by these guys anymore, in fact I never was. From day one, when they came out, they were for my younger generation. The Generation Z. People who've never seen a Walkman before or don't know what a Discman is. They've never recorded a TV show onto video and don't know how difficult it is to set it up. They don't know what a video set is. They've never seen those huge, white satellite dishes in people's compounds. No, these kids, yes I call them kids, these kids don't know what an analogue radio is. They never recorded their favourite new song from radio onto cassette and never had to contend with immediately stopping it when the DJ started talking at the end of the song, sometimes even in the middle of it, like in Lagos. Or rewinding a cassette manually by spinning it around a pen you stick through one of the holes in the middle. All they know is social media, emojis, putting all their personal details online by default and likes, follows and retweets. They never played football outside when they were seven years old and fell down onto the ground all the time, getting bruises all across their legs with those wounds miraculously just healing years after like nothing ever happened. They never did after school extra-curricular activities and learnt teamwork, competitiveness and general life skills by bonding with others personally. They never learnt how to ride a bike on a BMX or Chopper and fell over countless times when the training wheels were removed or their elder sibling stopped pushing them from behind. All kids of today know is instant chat, social media, the Internet and no social skills to function in society. They don't chat at dinner with their family, because they eat in their rooms, while online. They don't wash dishes because their parents do it for them. They don't clean their rooms and buy groceries because it's all done for them. They prefer everything we did in person, online and detached from others.


And this is the world I'm supposed to raise my kid in? These are going to be their seniors? Hell no! I say eff that and switch back to the way I grew up! You know??'
'You're already talking about kids?'
'... I'm 35, man. I was ready at 26.'
'You know it's a big change, right? You may feel ready now but once you hold your baby, you'll feel all the pressure in the world.'
'Yeah but I'm tired of reading in every personality test and article that I'm familial and should start a family to bring out the best of me.'
'... and you do know you're gonna need a chick to actually get that done?'
Donnie looks hesitantly at Pam...
'... yeah, I'm still workin' on that... but I ain't trippin'...'
'... don't get it twisted, I'm into you but you can't talk those big things and expect me to take it casually. Regardless of how ready you are. We haven't even moved in together. On the real? Chill! Let life take its course. It'll happen naturally - whatever life throws at us.'
'So you want me to wait, despite my age?'
'You think waitin' will take ages because you're thinking negatively. If you trust the process, it could happen sooner. You need to understand the weight of your goals. A kid is a lifelong commitment and I don't care how paternal you are or how kickass a father you'll be. It's a huge change and it's also a very expensive change, if you want your child to grow up well. You don't just jump into that. You don't wanna be DMX who at 50 still gets babies despite already having 14 kids. I get it that you like the process of it all the way to the finish, I do too but after the fun is over, we're both gonna have raise him/her. And I'm not gonna be a broke or single mom - ever!'


'I get it, babe! I'm just venting, innit? Letting ish off my chest. Thank you for hearing me out, innit?'
With both sitting on the sofa in Pam's living room, she goes through Donnie's hair and smirks a bit.
'And that thing about the generations? You're not the only one. There are millions of us, for Christ's sake. Yeah, it sucks being left out by society but do you really still wanna be in your twenties and be up and coming?'
'... no, actually...'
'Exactly! Nor do I. I'm done with being an adolescent, being in school, being dependent and not being able to unleash your potential and be your own person. I'm happy I'm in my thirties. I love being independent and self-sufficient. I love supporting my parents. Every day, I live on my terms and shape my life according to my vision. That's something twenty-somethings can only dream of! And about the media and entertainment? I personally stopped listening to a lot of mainstream and have gone back to the songs I loved in my twenties. The actors from movies I loved. I stay in my generation and follow good adaptions and reinventions of it. That way, I continue to listen to good music that speaks to me.'
'That's very clever!'
'Tell me 'bout it. When life throws me a curveball, I move with the cheese. You still shout, 'Who moved my cheese?' You need to stop playing the victim, accept reality that can't be changed and adapt to life because you're being trampled on by the present and will be obsolete in the future. No one dictates my life, regardless how I'm perceived. I'm my own heroine - in my life, I call the shots! Always!'


Donnie leans over to Pam and kisses her.
'You know I love you, right? And I dunno, in my teens, I liked a few girls a lot but being with you made realize I never even liked them anywhere near how much I like you. Not even close! I swear, I so totally love you, I think you're my first great, big love. Why? Because I can't feel for anyone else, what I feel for you. I've tried - trust me, it doesn't work. I see a few chicks out there. This one is this, that one is that - we may even relate - and I may like them, but I just don't feel my feelings for you, with them. It's like a curse from God: a lock system to keep me with you forever and no other chick can ever take me away from you! I'm yours! I swear to God, I'm so yours! Regardless what happens, no matter what becomes of us, I'm always gonna belong to you. So I really hope you're not gonna leave me 'cause I'm pretty stuck in this one-trick pony ish for you... I'm just sayin'!'
Pam looks at him for a while... semi-smirkin'. She gets off her feet from the corner of the sofa, climbs on top of Donnie and straddles him. Then, she takes off her top and kisses Donnie.
'Mmmm... God, you smell amazing! What's the fragrance you're wearing?'
'Just something that entices and seduces you enough to give it up.'
'D'oh, obviously.', he chuckles, 'What's it called?'
'5th Avenue.'
'Mmmm,... we're gonna have to go there for real on our holiday this year. Just us, shopping, loving and straight chilling!'
Pam smiles again, gives Donnie an Eskimo kiss then they smooch again...as he unstraps her Victoria Secrets bra - and the conversation comes to a glorious end.