I can't always indulge them, of course. I am a mature woman with a responsible job and I need to project a professional image. At work I may wear a skull print scarf or some subtle spider earrings to satisfy my inner Morticia but am otherwise unremarkably clad.

Social events can often be unsuitable for fishnet bodystockings or jaunty top hats. It is easy to feel a little out of place if you're just doing lunch with the girls or going for a curry and a pint, so it tends to be a rare occasion when I can delve into the dressing up box and pretend I'm in a Tim Burton film.

It's a shame really, as the dishevelled hair and smudged lipstick look, so beloved of my long-time hero, Fat Bob, is just perfect for those mornings-after-the-night-before and effortless to achieve.*


*Just add Pinot Grigio.