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Building Trust: Stop Making Excuses

Excuses are the bane of trust. ExcusesWe’ve talked before about how trust is a cornerstone of BDSM, doubly so in any D/s relationship.

You need to trust your Mistress to exert fair and responsible control over you. Your Mistress needs to trust you too. That’s why you need to stop making excuses now!

You ran late, but it was the traffic’s fault. You forgot to pick up something at the store, but you had to do five other things too. You weren’t where you were supposed to be, but that’s because something else happened.

We’ve all made excuses in our lives, but what are excuses really?

They’re lies.

When you offer up excuses, you are fudging the truth, spinning the facts, and trying to gloss over your mistakes. Your Mistress deserves better.

Look, we all make mistakes. We all forget things. We all get swept up in moments that feel outside our control. It happens. So fucking own it when it does.

When we offer up excuses, it’s usually for one of two reasons: We want to avoid getting in trouble or we simply refuse to believe that we in control of our actions.

You are the manager of your day and of yourself. You’re under your Mistress’s supervison, but you’re driving your own bus. You are able to communicate. You can give a heads up. You can back track and fix mistakes before they become problems.

Yes, there may be consequences. Yes, you may get a little punishment. She may even be … gulp … disappointed in you. Deal with it, and be a man.

Every time you drop an excuse, you tell your Mistress that She can’t trust you. Every time you take responsibility, you tell Her that you want to do better.

Of course, that does mean that you have to learn from your missteps. No Mistress expects perfection in Her submissive. She does expect improvement. Honesty doesn’t excuse mistakes, but it’s always a better starting point.

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Building Trust: Stop Making Excuses


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