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Beneath the Hunger for Sex

The psychoanalyst Carl Jung described the Addict as a “frustrated mystic” who in his attempt to discover the Source of life and remedy for his wounds, has mistakenly sought the illusory relief of such troubles in a bottle, a needle, or compulsive ritual.  So many of us have sighed, “What is is it that I truly seek amidst these dark corridors of debauchery and futility?”  Addiction is a failed attempt to connect with something real and although the addict may not be aware of this, his soul is resilient in its quest for fulfillment.  In Sex Addiction, the risky acts of compulsive masturbation, extramarital affairs, solicitation of sex workers, pornography, etc., are nothing more than by which the addict mistakenly seeks wholeness.  In this sense, essential human needs get tarnished by unnatural desires. Until the sex addict discovers what lies beneath his hunger for sex, he or she will continue to reach for illusory reliefs that result in more pain and confusion.

Underlying the root of the sex addict’s hunger, stands 3 human needs he is attempting to fulfill:

A Need for Purpose

Meaning is derived from understanding that one’s life is worthwhile.  Our lives need to make sense in regards to it being purposeful.  Engaging in meaningful experiences ensures that our lives have not been wasteful and the legacy of what we’ve done will continue to be remembered long after we are gone.  The keys to a life with Purpose satisfactorily answers the questions “Does my life matter?”,  “Am I living in accordance to helping and/or influencing others?”, “Do my actions create a sense of inner peace and happiness?”, and most importantly, “Am I passionate about what I’m doing?”  Without purpose our lives become stale and without this acknowledgement the mind will seek out unhealthy ways to seek wholeness.

A Need for Love

Along with needing Love, there is the importance of giving love.  Forming relationships that are based on being embraced for who we are make life worthwhile.  It is also through loving others that we begin to understand ourselves in terms of our own potential.  The things which are difficult to see within ourselves we can clearly see in others, and when we love those with imperfections, we develop a sense of love and intolerance for ourselves. Relationships grounded on love serve as the reassuring and embracing ‘womb’ that fuels our perseverance to strive for progress.  Without love, the surrogates of sexual addiction take over.

A Need for a Higher Power

A reliance for guidance and strength is an invaluable human need.  The comfort in finding a power greater than ourselves that is able to transcend our daily struggles is a critical component of living.  For the addict, forming a relationship that clearly differentiates between self-will and the direction of a higher consciousness is essential in taking the steps necessary for recovery.  Just as a baby cries out to his mother in times of distress, we are all wired for surrender and seeking help outside of ourselves in times of uncertainty and fear is a natural response.  Of utmost importance in exploring beneath the hunger for sex, the addict is seeking a mystical experience and within him dwells an insatiable ‘God hunger.’

Taking steps to fulfill these human needs brings us closer to healing and finding who we really are aside our addictions.  We were created to attain our full potential through feeding our hunger for purpose, love, and God.  May we find these now in order to end our illness.


Tagged: finding meaning, Healing sex addiction, healthier outlets, recovery, sex addiction


This post first appeared on A Journey To Christ: Freedom From Sex Addiction – Recovery From Sex Addiction, please read the originial post: here

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Beneath the Hunger for Sex

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