• Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis took to Instagram to shut down rumors that they’re divorcing.
• The couple shared a hilarious video mocking and dissecting the claims on the cover of In Touch Weekly.
• In the video, Ashton and Mila pull quotes from the cover of the tabloid.

Ashton Kutcher and his wife Mila Kunis are still happily married and would like the world, or least his 3.4 million followers, to know the truth.

To set the record straight, the celeb couple (their fourth wedding anniversary is next month) shared a hilarious video to Ashton’s Instagram account. In the selfie video, Ashton and Mila dissected the latest tabloid claims about their relationship.

Ashton captioned the video: “I guess it’s over @intouchweekly have fun selling magazines this week. Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time. But who’s counting.”

Ashton kicks off the mock drama by posing a serious question to his wife sitting next to him in the car. “Babe what’s happening?” Mila quotes the tabloid headline for her response, “It’s over between us.”

“Oh my God, what are we going to do?” Ashton shoots back. Mila responds with yet another gem from the cover, “I felt suffocated.” Ashton continues: “You felt suffocated by me? Oh, I was just so overbearing wasn’t I?”

That’s not all. “Also, I take the kids,” Mila says. She points to the photo of the tabloid cover on her phone for emphasis. Ashton raises his voice in dismay, “I don’t get the kids anymore?” (Ashton and Mila have two children together, Wyatt, 4, and Dimitri, 2.)

“You had a very dark secret exposed,” Mila says. Ashton has a furrowed brow and looks straight into the camera: “Oh my gosh, what was the dark secret?”

Mila answers, “I don’t know.” Cue mic drop. There you have it: Ashton and Mila are together and laughing their way through the latest batch of rumors.

Happy early fourth anniversary to the happy couple, and cheers to many more.