i'm tired of not Writing. it's been a year since i worked on my novel. i haven't really been blogging. in both cases, i've tried. i've sat down, opened up my laptop, opened my Word program or Blogger, and then there's nothing. nada. zilch.

it feels like there's nothing in my brain worth putting in a story or a blog post. nothing worth really saying. that's sad and scary, because i love writing. even this post feels like a stretch and partly a waste of time. like i'm just venting and then sharing. "oh boy! what a great thing to post about."

but we're the Insecure Writers' Support Group. we can post about anything we want, as long as it fits the theme of helping other insecure writers. and let me tell you, i feel pretty qualified to share this. after a year of not writing, i'm a little insecure.

make that I'M VERY INSECURE.

but the other part of posting in this group, or at least how i feel about it, is to share something encouraging. i'm not sure that's going to happen today. that's kind of sad to me too. i started this blog a long time ago because i wanted to be encouraging. now i know that isn't always going to happen.

maybe this post is just here to say, "if you're not writing, i kind of know what you're going through--maybe not the exact circumstances, but i feel your frustration and pain. and maybe i have some things to share that i've learned in this year of not writing."

we're writers, but we don't always write. we miss a day, a week, a month. sometimes we don't write for a long time. but we're still writers. somewhere in us there is still something to say. we just don't know what it is.

we're writers, but sometimes we're afraid to write our stories or say what we need to say. we're probably afraid our writing is drivel or garbage. 

we're writers, but our worth IS NOT tied to how much we produce or what kind of response we get from what we write. we haven't failed. 

we're writers. sometimes we just write for ourselves and no one else. sometimes we can't even do that. we're still writers. 

we're writers. but we're also humans with messy lives. many of us have a family, a spouse, kids. maybe we have financial problems, health problems, marital problems. maybe we've gone through major surgery, lost family members, lost a job. maybe we're just tired of life. 

we're writers. sometimes we try to write to escape. sometimes we try to write and we can't. we're still writers.

well, in conclusion... it was pretty disjointed and rambling, but i wrote it and it felt really good to write and be an IWSG participant again. maybe someone read it. maybe someone was even encouraged. i don't think it was complete drivel. whatever the case, i'm still a writer.