I did something recently that I’ve been putting off for more than a year: I switched this blog to self-hosted. Those of you who have blogs know what this means and probably shuddered in sympathy. For everyone else, I’ll just say that the reason I waited so long was well-justified. This process can cause all kinds of headaches, and I experienced all of them – and at least one that tech support had never seen!
Instead of cataloging my website woes, I will cut it short by saying that the switch had ramifications I hadn’t been prepared for. Time-sucking ones. That will take months to fix. Time is the commodity I have the least of these days, so it’s been a frustration, to say the least.
In addition, I decided on the same weekend that I changed over my site that I should finally replace my cracked laptop, whose speakers had also died. I got a new one from the same manufacturer, and only after spending two hours installing Software did I discover that its keyboard had the right Shift Key in the wrong place! (It was designed that way, for who knows what reason…) Tech support said there was no way to fix it, so I faced having to uninstall the software, take it back and pick another model. (Did I mention that bit about not having much time lately?) Thankfully, I persevered and found free software to reassign the poorly placed shift key. Shout out to KeyTweaker!
At the same time—because, why not?—my pastor has asked me to teach a six- to eight-week course on belovedness, which I need to assemble from my teachings and blog posts. And then there’s that book God told me to write that I’m in the midst of…
So, writing new posts has been low on the totem pole of seemingly unending priorities and deadlines.
Sound familiar? Many people, Westerners at least, live their lives this way and assume it’s normal. I have learned that it’s not normal and have usually been able to stay present and relaxed. The last couple of days though, not so much.
On top of it all, God is calling me to a deeper place in him. A place of greater intimacy. As anyone who’s had a relationship knows, intimacy requires a significant investment of time. What a coincidence – that’s the one thing I feel like I don’t have!
Isn’t it just like God to call us to give up what we think is scarce and precious for the sake of knowing him? I was thinking today of all that the apostles gave up to follow Jesus around Israel for three years. Peter and John had a business. Peter had a wife. At one point, Peter says to Jesus, “Lord, we have left everything to follow you!” And he wasn’t exaggerating. To paraphrase my friend Emmet Blue, the gospel cost them everything, but it also gave them everything.
I’m also reminded of this quote from Martin Luther: “I have so much to do that I find I cannot get by without four hours of prayer a day.”
How’s that for a mind tweaker? We almost always think the opposite – that we’re so busy we can’t possibly take time away to pray. Luther’s simple statement calls out our broken thinking.
So, I will press into the presence of God, first and foremost. Though to my logic center it seems like a sacrifice, my heart knows better. My time with God makes all other time seem better, calmer, more manageable.
Nothing is more important than becoming who you were meant to be. Our identity is found in God, and so is our destiny. So, I will just accept what is: my site is gonna look less awesome than I want it to for a while. Internal links to other blog posts won’t work, and so on. Those things will eventually get sorted out, and they cannot define me or be my purpose.
If you can relate, please leave a comment! Or share this with a friend, or both.