by Reb Akiva at Mystical Paths

Dear Son,

I know you are from the generation of baggy pants, but I am from the generation of no butt crack.  While you are my son and I think you are a great looking young man, I'm pretty certain nobody wants to see your anus or the path thereto.

Please pull your pants up and select pants as well as wearing them in such a way that if you are bending over, your rear end remains fully covered.

Thank you in advance.

Note some might try to yell about this being a tznius (modesty) issue.  Yet I take a different approach... THIS IS A PUBLIC HEALTH EMERGENCY!

As much as we may live in a sexualized generation, I'm relatively certain that no one is interested in viewing the business end of the human digestive system.