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A lost christian

Hello r/Buddhism

To make my story "short" I will present a timeline linked to important times of my life - I am a young man. In my youth I considered myself an atheist. When I turned 18, I Fully Devoted myself to Christ. Let me clarify. By fully devoted I mean subjectively inside my head. I knew christianity was the way to go for me. Praying became a part of my daily life. A few years later I openly declared myself a believer, and all my years of bible study came to use when people challenged my faith. I have converted few of my friends just by explaining metaphysic principles and metaphysic narratives and such. When I turned 24 I was doubting. Not in Christ, but in protestantism. I attended the conversion study course to become a Catholic, or at least learn more about it. A year went by. I learned through the course, that most people respond more positive to the christian gospel and Christ teaching if I leave the word God out of it, and instead replace it with the word "love." I am 26 years old now. I doubt that the God-word is even necessary for me or anyone else. I think the important aspect of faith is how it makes us live our lives. The consequences of belief. This month has proven somewhat ambivalent to me. I started to attend yoga classes which lead me to meditation. I meditate a lot these days, and I cant seem to get the buddhism religion/philosophy out of my head. There are some aspects of it I do not yet understand. So I need help. I cannot give you any good reason as to why I seek to experience buddhism. It is just something that "haunts" me when I meditate. Praying seems meaningless to me at this time. I doubt if anyone is capable of understanding how I feel, but I will ask you anyway. Dear community. Do you have any advice for me as to how I should approach buddhism? Where do I start? I think I have a pretty good idea of the buddha-myth and its factual narrative, but I do not claim that I have drawn any wisdom from it as of yet. Do anyone know of a book, website, community or maybe even a story of your own I can learn from? Any advice you can give me, I will be most grateful.


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A lost christian


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