I’ve had an epiphany that I’m trying to set myself up to be anxious and sad. Today was a perfect example. I had a great day. Everything went well. I was smiling sitting (literally smiling— I felt so at ease) on the couch, about to read a book when a thought pops into my head about how Terrible I am at everything. And then another about how many friends are going to abandon me. On and on and on. No matter what I did to ignore them, they just sucked me in. So my day went from great to now being convinced all of those terrible thoughts are true :(
These thoughts are so convincing and now that I’m sad again it almost feels like what I want. I really don’t know how to describe it. It’s almost a comfortable feeling. It’s as if I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy.
I just don’t know what to do with this? How can I be happy if I finding a way to erase it? Is there a Buddhist approach to take?
I really appreciate person anecdotes of anyone has any!
Thanks for reading
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