Although those two words could be taken very negatively, and I'm not saying this isn't a sad, difficult time for me right now, they also could be seen as a time where there's almost a feeling of clean slate. Like, I have no idea about so many things right now and while that is unsettling and frightening, on a good day, I can see it as full of choice, chance and opportunity.
My life feels empty right now. I feel quite lost without Max and that love and the plans we'd made, and I don't want to date or try to be in a relationship so there's this void where I'd like to have a partner to love and share with and be with and think about a future with. It's also that time of year when people do their thing and it's darker and colder and I just feel blah and there's more to it all than that but yeah. Empty and unclear. I have no idea where I'll be this time a year from now, never mind next season, or this summer or anything. I might be not far from where I am right now but it's unlikely I'll be right here. I don't know.
So, yeah. Stuff. Blah. Life.
Day 9. Two Words That Describe Your Life Right Now and Why