The doctor calls them "panic attacks" because of the physical symptoms that are manifesting. I don't know about that and don't like the term anyway, but that's not really the point here.
The point is, as I was going through one of these "feeling really awful" moments yesterday I realized I'm weird about medicating during those moments.
Like, I have some stuff that my doctor gave me ages ago when I was freaking out about flying, but I still haven't ever really used them. But I also have some natural stuff that was recommended to me and some other natural stuff that my acupuncturist is having me try.
And yet, when I'm in that state of feeling awful, I think I forget. Or something. Or maybe I feel like it's not "bad enough"? Like the times over the last few months when it was really really bad?
I don't know. I just was curled up on my couch yesterday, trying to take calming breaths and I realized... I haven't taken any sort of medication, natural or otherwise to try to help me through this... what's that about?
So I got up and chewed one of the natural chewy things and put some of the droplet stuff in a glass of water and drank it and maybe it's that I can't tell if they work... there's no instant relief. Maybe it's that it's a gradual calm that it doesn't seem like something I would think of. It's not like putting ice on a burn.
Or maybe I want to be stronger than those feelings and force them away myself.
I probably do that with other things at times too, but even with a headache... once it gets to a certain point/level/length? I'm going for that advil.
Something for me to think about...