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The Pussy Bow Incident

I've been at this for awhile now, this blogging thing. I've been cranking out weekly columns for well over a year and now I'm playing around with a mini-post concept. While I'm not a great writer, I think I'm decent. Not the same old same old anyway. I'm aware that 90% of wannabe writers will never be published by someone other than themselves. I'm aware that 90% of published writers will never quit their day job. I'm aware that I picked those percentages out of the air, so don't go a-googling in search of veracity. They're covered under the terms of my creative license.

That said, although I realize that making enough money from my work to impact the lives of me and the Stickies, of ever being more than a hobbyist, is highly unlikely, I still dream about getting lucky, and I keep trying.

However, I've just been rudely reminded that if my judgment was better, if I picked the right topics to write about, and when, if I were more culturally aware, I might be wildly successful by now. See, I thought writing about the pussy bow incident, but I passed, and now the world has moved on.


In case you missed it, Melania Trump wore a shirt/blouse/top (?) decorated with what amounts to a huge floppy bow tie to the second presidential debate that I now know is called a pussy bow. My exhaustive research reveals that it was considered cool at one time to tie bows around the necks of cats. This phenomenon was the inspiration for the unfortunately named shirt/blouse/top (?) known as a pussy bow. I was unable to discover if the obvious loss of dignity to any felines thus abused in this manner was noted or recorded.

At some point, some-one, started hanging them around the necks of women and they've been going in and out of style ever since. I confess, that although I've successfully managed to achieve the age of 39 on 24 successive occasions, I was completely unaware of any of this until recently.

And then -- Melania Trump showed up for the second presidential cat fight debate wearing a fuchsia (I had to look that up too) pussy bow shirt/blouse/top (?) and this kicked off a kerfuffle, that I thought  was goofy. The kerfuffle in question, generated a brief (thankfully) burst of tweets, comments, articles, postings, etc. Was she subtly supporting the Donald? or was it a passive-aggressive condemnation of his "locker room talk"?

Which is why -- I saw an opportunity to make fun of the whole goofy incident. But I passed and it faded away quickly. I refer to the fuss about the unfortunately named shirt/blouse/top (?), not the fuss about the Donald's choice of words, which the Hilliam will make sure never goes away -- but I was wrong.

See, a few days after the second debate, Maureen Dowd, a...

Oh, wait! before I forget (this will just take a sec'), since the Donald claims that the Hilliam is the tip of the spear of a vast conspiracy by the media, The Gubmint in general, the FBI and the Justice Department in particular (and other conspirators to be named later) and not just the result of a fame and money loving, agendicized, infotainment manufacturing media monster and formerly (more or less)  respected and independent, The Gubmint, agencies that have been politicized by King (I've got a phone and I've got a pen) Barry  -- deep breath -- am I the only one that thinks this is a vast left-wing conspiracy that was set into motion by the Hilliam when they unearthed the vast right-wing conspiracy that had placed Monica Lewinsky in the White House in order to trick Slick Willie into using her as a humidor?

[Insert sound of the loudest gym teacher's whistle you've ever heard, here.

Wait just a minute Sparky! Sez Dana, my imaginary gentlereader, grinning from ear to ear. While Marie-Louise (my muse) and I both love the paragraph long sentence (ML, a woman of few words, is smiling, nodding, and scratching my back), is this train going anywhere or have you taken the wrong spur?]

Oh, sorry -- yes, definitely. OK, so, Maureen Dowd (or MoDo), in case you don't know, is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist who writes a weekly column for The New York Times. Remind you of anyone? Except for the facts that she writes for the NYT, leans decidedly to the left, knows The Donald personally, hangs with the elites of Manhattan and D.C. and won a Pulitzer for writing about the Hilliam a thousand years ago when they became world famous child abusers -- we're very much alike.

See, she doesn't care much for the Donald or the Hilliam either, and her writing style is not the same old same old, for which she's often criticized by important people, as I hope to someday be.

And, whereas, I ignored the Pussy Bow Incident, she wrote an entire (sort of) column (1) about it in addition to her weekly one. I say sort of because it was chock full of mindless tweet quotes -- rather like something you'd find in a USA Today online article. I normally enjoy reading her stuff but I find myself turning, more and more, into an anti- tweeter. In fact, I'm thinking about starting a movement to oppose the pervasive spread of this cultural malignancy. I'm formulating a plan to...

Insert sound of the loudest gym teacher's whistle you've ever heard, here.

Sorry. Well, there you have it. A clear explanation as to why MoDo is a well connected, Pulitzer Prize-winning, Manhattan dwelling, New York Times supported writer and I'm a blogger limping along in Flyoverland.

I was feeling sort of depressed about my situation, but then I read an article (2) in USA Today online the day after the most recent debate that explained why the Hilliam wore white that night that included the line, "It's also been suggested that suffragettes wore white because its connotations of virginal purity helped shield them from the accusations of sexual immorality that were often hurled at them from the movement's opponents." The Hilliam and virginal purity mentioned in the same article.

I'm still grinnin', you can't make this shtuff up folks!

And then I stumbled on an article (3) from The Hill that was written the day before the last debate that reported that Madonna, who apparently has been reduced to being an opening act, pledged to perform oral sex on men if they vote for The Hilliam.

I'm feeling much better now, and I do believe I shall remain in Flyoverland.

Have an OK day.

©Mark Mehlmauer 2016

(1) MoDoCo(lumn) 
(2) USA Today
(3) Madonna

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This post first appeared on The Flyoverland Crank, please read the originial post: here

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The Pussy Bow Incident

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