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Date Night: The Stage 5 Clinger

Tags: eventually

Usually, I tend to write these “Date Night” pieces about first dates. This is partly because I don’t go on any second dates, and partly because due to the lack of novelty there’s less to write about. But due to the lessons that can be learnt for any young men reading this, I decided to take a break from the traditional format.


After my resolution to go on more dates, and my lack of success on Plenty of Fish this far, I signed up to OKCupid again. After a lot of endless conversations, one guy Eventually came in for a date.

We arranged to meet at a Spanish restaurant in Reading. As I was walking through the door, he rang me explaining that he was going to be late as he’d had to take his mother to hospital. I amused myself for about 20 minutes or so by ordering a drink and browsing through the menu, until he eventually arrived apologising profusely. In a society where I’ve had dates cancel with half an hour’s notice, it was refreshing to see someone to apologetic about being a bit late despite a genuine reason.

The conversation flowed easily. He was very chatty, which was another breath of fresh air as a lot of guys are quite awkward on dates. He even chatted away to the people on the table next to us. He was 24 like me, and I usually find guys that age still be like little boys, but he seemed a lot more mature than some of the thirty-somethings I’ve been on dates with.

Sometimes on dates, I do this thing where I imagine bringing the guy along to meet other people, what what they would think of him. This time, I imagined bringing him along to the meal out I had with The Foreign Flirt and the guides. Would they respect him as one of the lads, or think I’d settled for a boring nice guy loser? I think he’d do OK.

I wasn’t sure if I was into him physically, but it was definitely worth a second date to give things a go.

Then the red flag came. I had a friends birthday thing after the date, and he kept asking if he could come along. If he was my boyfriend I’d be happy to bring him along, but I thought it would be a bit weird with someone I’d just met. He then said I should go for another drink with him, and arrive late to the party. Eventually I managed to shake him off, and we departed ways.


I was having reservations about the second date. He was being a bit keen in his texts, and the more I thought about it, the weirder it was that he wanted to come to my friend’s birthday party. But another date pulled out, and you have to give these things a try, so I gave it a go.

On the previous date I’d made the mistake of wearing heels, so couldn’t accurately judge the height thing, but even in flats we were about the same height. Sigh. The restaurant I’d suggested was full, so we ended up going to this Thai place instead. I hadn’t noticed before, I think I’d been too caught up in the novelty of a confident-seeming guy, but on the way there I realised: he’s actually a bit annoying.

If you had to spend a lot of time with him, he’d really grate on you, a voice in my head told me.

During the meal, I got thinking. My type has always been confident, very sociable, extrovert guys. But perhaps… my type isn’t my type anymore? Perhaps we shouldn’t have a type. Perhaps a guy who was still confident, but a little more reserved, could actually be a better match?

By the end of the meal, I was actually a bit relieved to get away. He insisted on paying. I tried to stop him as I always feel bad if I don’t fancy the guy, but he insisted so I eventually gave in hoping it would teach him a lesson about women. We walked back to the station and he said he’d like to see me again. I felt awkward and blurted out a lukewarm response.

The on the train home, I got a text from him. (Keep in mind that at this point we had never kissed):

Hey, hope you got home alright :) had a really good time again with you. Like I said I’d really like to see you again I don’t think you’re boring. It’s embarrassing to say, but I like you, you’re really nice and I wanna get to know you more but I don’t wanna push anything but hope you feel the same about me. Let me know :) xx

My vagina turned to stone. On a biological level, I immediately found him repulsive. I was stunned at how someone that age could be that clueless with women. Even if you’re inexperienced, you’d think from observation you’d know what kind of guys women are attracted to. And it’s not guys who send texts like that.

I made a mental note to save the text on my phone, in case I ever have a son, to show him exactly how not to act around girls.

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This post first appeared on Lara Loveless | UK Dating Blog | The Life And Love, please read the originial post: here

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Date Night: The Stage 5 Clinger


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