Warning: This is a personal post.
I think I am cursed with having really poor memory. This major flaw in my system is probably the reason why I am not one to get mad over forgotten dates or tiny details like how stereotypical women are. Remembering something, even essential tasks such as “withdraw money from the bank”, is such a chore for my very limited built-in RAM. If I want to remember something, I have to scramble for a piece of paper, my phone, or my camera to help me.
Photo of me taking a photo in Batanes, taken by Robbie of www.thecreativedork.com (photoception)
Looking back, one of my main reasons for blogging is to help me remember my “How I Met Your Mother” story with RJ told through Food memories to somehow mask the innate cheesiness of the intent. But due to a myriad of reasons, I’ve stopped writing here and now I realize that I’ve taken for granted some things because I simply forgot.
So where did this sudden burst of insight come from?
This afternoon, in between some mind-numbing number crunching, a particular blog post shook my core, eliciting me to write this blog post:
“I write and I take pictures because I’m afraid of forgetting. I’m afraid I’ll wake up one day not remembering any of this. It’s a Baseless Fear, but I do not want a life where I do not know this love. And if something should happen to me and I miss out on the rest of your life, I want you to have these memories and feelings to hold on to. Because they make up the best of mine.”
Photographs as proof. Photographs as proof of existence. Of love. Of the way things are at this very moment, because it will change.
Photography is so personal and so intimate. It’s proof that I was here. That you were here. That I loved. That you loved. That we all loved like this.
This blog entry hit me hard because I could relate to the author’s fear. I am afraid that I might wake up one day and not remember any of these experiences. It’s not a baseless fear at all. Well, at least in my case.
A lot has happened since I stopped writing actively in this blog. (So much for EVERYDAY sweet notes!) A lot for the better, but there are a LOT of road bumps along the way as well. And I am terrified that as I go on, just storing photos in my hard drive and writing measly notes on my planner without attempting to write and reflect about these experiences, I might not be able to live fully in the present, or worse, they might slowly slip through my fingers like sand and dissolve back to the sea like nothing happened. I need these memories and feelings to hold on to.
Though I might start talking cryptic in my blog when it comes to personal matters, I Hope that by sharing my thoughts and experiences in this blog, I am able to relish and recollect feelings, sights, smells, sounds, tastes, of not just food but of key moments lived with or without food. Hopefully, in the process of sharing a piece of myself, I am able to connect with wanderers like me somewhere out there.
I honestly don’t know if there are still people out there reading this. But if there are, I hope you don’t mind these personal posts interspersed with food posts every now and then. I will still try to be helpful as possible when it comes to food discoveries or food recommendations, but I hope you don’t mind if I add some soul in my posts. =)
My hard drive is packed with unposted food photos and stories waiting to be shared. But I hope you don’t mind if I share a piece of my life as well. =)
The post I Think My Bad Memory Has A Purpose appeared first on Everyday Sweet Notes.