Off the top of your head, how many friends have you got? How about on Facebook? 500? 1000? It turns out that people can only maintain relationships with up to 150 people. Maximum. That’s it. Even if you have more on your Facebook account, it seems we only ever interact with 150. Dr Robin Dunbar at the University of Oxford came up with the figure, and it bears his name, ‘The Dunbar Number’. But these 150 people are mostly just people we know, so how many friends have you got?
Most people have 3-5 Close Friends. Total. Not the hundreds or even thousands that their FB numbers say they do, just 3-5 people. How do we know who’s a real friend, and who’s just somebody we know? There are plenty of ways.
Good friends are there for you when you need them. They’re the first on the phone with a call to see if you’re OK and if there is anything they can do. If you call them, they will always pick up, unless there is a serious reason not to. They will make time to get in contact with you, even if you’ve forgotten to contact them because you’ve been flat out.
Acquaintances on the other hand, they make time when they can. They don’t go out of their way for much. They’re the people who click like when you put that your Grandma passed away on Facebook rather than calling you and asking if they can help in any way.
A Close friend never judges someone for their choices, or who they are. Attributes like Black, White, Asian, Middle Eastern, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Gay, Straight, these are never spoken about with true friends because it doesn’t matter. Acquaintances on the other hand think about every difference, and will occasionally bring the differences in people up as a reason that someone may have a different opinion; when invariably, the difference of opinion merely comes from both people being humans with independent minds.
Friends are the people you go to for advice, and the ones that ask you for the same thing. They know you as well as you know yourself, and you know them equally as well.
The old quote says it best when they said, a friend will bail you out of jail and ask, “What did you do?”. However, a best friend is the one sitting next to you in jail asking, “What did we do?”.
So how do we get more of these close friends? There are some new services popping up all the time, including an interesting one called The Connectar. This service will ask you to fill in a simple 10 minute questionnaire and then connect you with people that match you in interests as well as personality types. If you are looking for some quality, long-lasting and true friendships; The Connectar might be the solution for you.