I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with who come to me initially because they’ve been so beaten down, they’re so exhausted and jaded by the time we get to talking, part of them doesn’t even think it could be possible that they could ever be happy. They avoid relationships like the plague, or they pursue and run away at the same time, one foot on the gas and the other on the brake.
Today I’m going to tell you a story of an entrepreneur named Ellen, with whom I had the pleasure of working. She was smart, gorgeous, hardworking, and living abroad, travelling around the world when we met.
Her life seemed ideal- except for one thing that she just couldn’t tell anyone.
Ellen couldn’t stop thinking about her ex boyfriend. No matter what she did, he always managed to find a way to creep back into her thoughts.
Was she making the right decision to be with someone else? Should she call him? Was it the right choice to break up? What would happen if they hadn’t? Was he still thinking about her? Were they meant to be and she lost out forever? She just couldn’t turn it off.
They had been broken up for years, and while it seemed like everything was perfect, this Dirty little secret followed her everywhere she went.
Ellen’s story is all too common.
It was bad enough to carry the weight of that burden, but even worse to feel like it was a dirty secret that she couldn’t tell anyone. Most of us are embarrassed to admit that we’re having a hard time because we blame ourselves, we think we should “just know” what to do, or that there’s a supposed cut off date when everything should just go back to normal. I myself have experienced the stomach twisting fear that someone could figure out what I was really going through, and then doing everything I could to keep up the facade- and it got me nowhere.
These “dirty secrets” that we keep aren’t dirty at all. Everything that Ellen, myself, and you are going through are just natural parts of the breakup process. They only start to feel like a dirty secret when you try to keep it from yourself and everyone else.
Breakups are hard to get over, and relationships in general are life changing by their very nature because of how they touch us to the core, they change our dreams, what we want in life, who we spend time with, and what we think our future will be. Just because you don’t talk to someone anymore doesn’t make any of that untrue, and that’s not going to change in time.
Time isn’t a solution within itself, it’s what you do within that time that counts.
When Ellen and I spoke, within two hours the burden she had held onto for nearly a decade slipped away without a fight.
She got clarity on why she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
She understood what the relationship really meant to her (and he wasn’t her soulmate, and that was okay).
She made peace with the fact it’s okay to not go back to him.
For the first time in years, she was free.
We still keep in touch and she’s doing great. Her business took off and she’s totally financially independent because she had so much mental energy freed up and no more blockages holding her back. Her relationship with her current boyfriend is going great because she can fully show up and be present for him.
Now she’s back to travelling the world, and living up like the boss lady she knew she was meant to be.
What’s that? Not for you? It’s just a fantasy?
Ellen’s story might seem fantastic, but it’s not. Just like she was able to have that break through the burden that the relationship had left her with, so can you- but you have to believe you can do it.
If all it took was less than two hours for Ellen to change what she had been battling for nearly a decade, imagine what we can do together?
Schedule an hour with me for free and see how quickly you can turn secrets into success and freedom.
Upwards and Onwards,