If ethics is indeed how we decide to behave when we belong together, then are you really doing anything wrong if many of your Neighbors break the same agreed-upon rules that you break?

A reader from North Carolina we’re calling Lil wrote that she lives “in a nice community of 50 homes that has a homeowners association (HOA) and a ‘No Soliciting’ sign at the attractive community entrance garden.” Lil later clarified that the words on the sign are actually more specific: “No solicitation or distribution of outside materials.”

In spite of the sign, Lil reports that every so often someone will drive in with a pickup truck hauling a trailer containing several bales of Pine Straw, a common ground cover used by her and many of her neighbors in their gardens and around their trees and shrubs.

“I have occasionally hailed one of these ‘entrepreneurs,’ whose product is much more conveniently available this way, not to mention cheaper than other sources,” Lil wrote. But Lil noted that her actions and those of her other neighbors who partake of the goods not only violate the “no distribution of outside materials” rule, but also encourage return cruises through the neighborhood. “They don’t normally come knocking on doors (although they have done so), which I presume is what the HOA board most wants to discourage.”

Lil wrote that so far she has not noticed anyone shooing away the Pine Straw Haulers, nor has she nor any of her neighbors received a notice from the HOA about being in violation of a policy. She would like to know my “ethical perspective” about both the “money-grubbing beautifiers of our neighborhood” and “outlaws like me.”

Since no one has complained as Lil and a few of her neighbors openly violate a rule they agreed to when they purchased their homes in the neighborhood, the simplest solution might seem to just let things lie. But that hardly makes it the best ethical choice.

Most HOAs have agreements that lay out procedures for how changes can be made to bylaws or restrictions. Some require a certain percentage of neighbors to be in agreement for any changes to be made. The right thing would be for Lil to explore such an option.

There’s a risk in doing so, of course. She might find that more neighbors are against the idea than are for it. She also might find that opening the discussion leads to a bigger discussion about how to limit distribution of materials only to these pine straw haulers.

But she also might find there’s a way to continue to purchase the pine straw from the random visitors that doesn’t violate the HOA agreement at all. Perhaps simply asking the pine strawers to set up deliveries ahead of time will do the trick. Perhaps the HOA allows lawn care workers to use the pine straw when working on a yard and might categorize these occasional visitors as lawn care workers.

Lil can only find out if her neighbors agree with her or if there’s a way to comply with the HOA rules if she approaches the HOA members. Sure, she may open a can of worms by doing so, but she also might discover that there’s an honest and straightforward way to cover up those worms with the pine straw she’d like to use.

(c) 2022 JEFFREY L. SEGLIN. Distributed by TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.