2021-03-17 15:57
Please correctly pronounce what this Frenchman has on his feet. They are “fleep-flopes!” Long O on “flops”, s’il vous plait.Let me right off the bat ackno… Read More
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The New York Crank Blog
TheNewYorkCrank.blogspot.com
Impotently fulminating about absolutely everything since 2006. Postings whenever I happen to get around to them. You got a problem with that?
2021-03-10 17:13
Umm, before you blow your top, find out what the rest of the ad saysSemi-literacy isn’t limited to knuckle-dragging Trumpsters. It would seem that even some of us progressives can… Read More
2021-03-04 21:53
What do you get when you combine a story about an irate Pizza CEO with one about a bank ratting out its customers? I’m writing this on Thursday, March 4th. This is the day Q… Read More
2021-02-24 23:08
I mean, isn’t this cool stuff worth a few measly lives?News from all over! •In France, a 25 year old Brit who had bee… Read More
2021-02-19 17:39
"I see the future and it tickles." The following is an exce… Read More
2021-02-18 01:21
License plate recently seen in New York City. On a Beamer, of course. It has nothing to do with anything else here. But I want to call your attention to it.A modestly proposed solution to th… Read More
2021-02-10 20:54
Who’s the pearl of a genius who thought up this name?As I sit writing this, the Senate of the United States (I assume this since I’m not watching at the moment) is effectively de… Read More
2021-02-07 20:06
Image lifted from my favorite photography website, PeopleOfWalmart.comAnd so the insanity continues. Back on January 15th, I posted here about the infuriating difficulties I faced, as… Read More
2021-01-31 06:56
A laser-launching space ship captain watching out for Marjorie Taylor Greene Sorry that I’ve been missing from this blog for more than a week. I’ve been tripping. A fr… Read More
2021-01-22 21:08
Marilyn Monroe rendered in wax. “Who do I… Read More
2021-01-20 04:10
There will be no further comment from me on Inauguration Day Read More
2021-01-15 22:00
Another body gets loaded onto a refrigerator truck used as a morgue outside a New York City hospital. They say they're giving out COVID-19 inoculations now. Lotsa luck getting one. I&rs&hell…Read More
2021-01-12 22:34
Use any of these words to colorfully describe our villainous Imbecile in… Read More
2021-01-08 05:10
Move Trump and his enablers from the White House to the....Rudolph Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr., Lara Trump and Eric Trump were among the rabble ro… Read More
2021-01-02 23:37
Guaranteed authentic charicatureTrump Forcefully Escorted From White House in Strait JacketVengeful Elephant HerdTramples Don and EricDuring African SafariLindsay Graham Resigns Senate… Read More
2020-12-28 21:26
And please, 2020, take Donald Trump and his entire administration with you on your way down Read More
2020-12-22 06:16
Unfortunately, there aren't nearly enough days of Christmas to cover the phenomenon that is Trump. But I've squeezed in all I could. On the first day of ChristmasThe Donald gave to meA… Read More
2020-12-19 07:09
Donald Trump first publicly advertised his sociopathic blood lust with this full page ad in 1989 Over at the Rectifi… Read More
2020-12-15 03:43
This is where I was tutored on the fundamental importance of French bistros. (I lived in the tower on the left-hand side.)So listen up, plague victims. Here in New York, vaccine or no… Read More
2020-12-11 21:23
The Nagasaki blast. It killed fewer people than all the Americans who have died of COVID-19 to date. (Photo, Wikimedia Commons.)As of December 11th, the date I’m posting this, Am… Read More
Art Imitates Art Imitating Hitler, Who Imitates Donald Trump, Who Isn't Even Born Yet. Or Something.
2020-12-06 06:32
2020-12-03 22:19
Just a suggestionIt ought to be evident to just about everybody by now that our beloved President will not go cheerfully, if at all. He may get out of the White House by January 20th, but no… Read More
2020-11-28 02:18
Imagine if this had been our President for the past four years. Oh, wait.Who from your childhood does Donald Trump remind you of now? For me, he’s the bad… Read More
2020-11-23 21:03
Embarrassed by Donald Trump?Quote of the week: From Jane Goodall, doyenne of the world’s great primatologists, during an interview with Kara Swisher of the New York Times: “… Read More
2020-11-18 18:19
The thing about Donald Trump is, he tells so many lies that he forgets to follow up on them. Wasn’t it only September, a piffling two-and-a-fraction months ago, that Cranky Six-Y… Read More
2020-11-11 19:43
The well-oiled tech machine that is Amazon appears to have developed a glitch, a glitch, a glitch, a glitch.On Tuesday of this week they sent me an e-mail bearing the header, “Pl… Read More
2020-11-07 23:10
He’s likely mad as hell. But will he take it any more? Let me put this political story in its weird personal context. Last Wednesday I su… Read More
2020-11-01 17:59
On the basis of this chicken’s intestines, I can confidently predict thatthe presidential election's outcome is unpredictableI piddled away a precious hour of my Sunday morning, toggli… Read More
2020-10-28 19:21
Sit here. Watch this. Right now. I promise this will be the best 25 minutes you spend today Read More
2020-10-25 23:21
This is probably not a photograph of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy. But I won't swear to it.I went to vote early today, here in New York City. I won’t do it by ma… Read More
2020-10-17 05:11
So, uh, let me get this straight. The thusfar unnamed owner of an unnamed computer repair shop somewhere in Delaware says that a guy who kinda, sorta, maybe looked like Hunter Biden dr… Read More
2020-10-11 23:20
A gentleman helps Miss Lindsey with her robe It’s not hard to get on a Republican mailing list. All you have… Read More
2020-10-07 20:42
2020-10-02 21:22
A 19th Century English madhous… Read More
2020-09-27 04:40
1. How to make the Presidential debate more civilized: I know I should have mentioned this earlier, but it only just occurred to me. On Tuesday night. Sept. 29th, Biden and Trump will d… Read More
2020-09-22 05:05
There was a crooked manAnd he dug a crooked wellAnd he took a crooked farthingWhen they stayed at his hotelAnd he screwed a crooked hookerBefore she could take off her blouseAnd it all happe… Read More
2020-09-17 16:44
Je m'appelle Big TroubleHow corrupt is Republican politics? Well, let’s just say that how far you get in Congress all depends on what you pay. Or what you can get others to pay on… Read More
2020-09-11 20:42
The cause of la grande explosion in France. Yicch! (Photo swiped from Wikipedia.)There’s just so much Donald Trump I can stand before I stick my fingers in my ears, close my… Read More
2020-09-04 22:32
A soldier gravely wounded by cream of asparagus soup during WWI gets treated by medics.By now probably everybody is aware of this, because Donald Trump has told us about it. Large… Read More
2020-09-02 21:35
One of the last foreign places on Earth where Americans can vacation is beautiful downtown Minsk. Don't forget to bring your galoshes.In 1961, President John F. Kennedy gave his &l&hell…Read More
2020-08-28 18:45
Can you spot the Adderall symptoms? Or is he just addled?The wannabe emperor Donald Trump says he’s suspicious — of Joe Biden, that is.According to The Washington Examiner, a new… Read More
2020-08-25 17:29
In a dark corner of the Internet netherworld, the sex-for-sale listings, offers of sexual favors for pay are peppered with code words. Some of them are puzzling — unless you're a membe… Read More
2020-08-21 16:02
Saboteur DeJoyIn June of 1942, eight German saboteurs entered the United States, four on Long Island, New York, the other four in Florida.Their mission was sabotage. Their targets were some… Read More
2020-08-18 21:41
Okay, all you folks can natter on about the Democratic Convention. Or about whether Donald Trump will either hotwire the Presidential election and drive off with it, or launch a coup d&rsquo&hell…Read More
2020-08-10 22:08
If this is how you feel things are looking, maybe it's because that's how they're looking.Caveats: Some nightmares may not be ephemeral. Your fright may vary. If uncertain whether your… Read More
2020-08-05 02:12
It’s getting brutal out there.This is one pissed-off nation. And as in all things, it’s the people at the top who set the mood.So yes, Trump again. The Huffington Post recently m… Read More
2020-08-02 04:54
Vlad the Impaler enjoys his lunch.(Woodcut lifted from Wikipedia.)With Donald Trump in charge, what are we to make of America’s destiny? Our lives have become a nightmare of outra… Read More
2020-07-30 20:59
Dr. Stella Immanuel. It’s as if Cole Porter had her in mind when he wrote, “You do that voodoo that you do so well.”It was George Bush the Elder, or George H.W. Bush… Read More
2020-07-26 23:11
A Fifteenth Century vision of hell by Hieronymous Bosch.Imagine if he were around to see the Trump Administration.Shall we begin with Senator Lindsey Graham? You know, the Republican Senator… Read More
2020-07-21 12:17
How often does a mostly-political blog find a legitimate excuse to display aphotograph like this? And who am I to argue with such an opportunity?What is Victoria’s secret?&nb&hell…Read More
2020-07-15 17:48
Who, moi? Back from the hospital with a mechanical doohickey made of titanium, ceramic and nylon under his skin where his left hip used to be, The New York Crank is now in a fine feveri… Read More
2020-07-03 01:56
No, they're not going to saw off my leg (I hope.) I'll be in the hospital for hip replacement surgery. They've already replaced my right hip. This time it's the left. But that's only pa… Read More
2020-06-27 22:55
Whose bus this is I do not know. But let's check to see who's under it.Let’s start with Mark Zuckerberg. Shortly before The Crank’s beautiful girlfriend died — it’s c… Read More
2020-06-17 19:57
The cadets who selflessly risked their lives to put up with Trump have earned the admiration and sympathy of every thinking American.But the cadet who had the imagination to raise the morale… Read More
2020-06-15 16:30
RachelRachel's Evil TwinNEW YORK (Cranky News Service):- The New York Crank’s crack investigative news team, (consisting of me, when I have the time for it) have determined that Rachel… Read More
2020-06-10 03:18
Somebody with a formidable sense of irony turned a little song that I listened to over and over again as a four-year-old into a video packed with tons of unspoken social commentary. Lis… Read More
2020-06-04 01:54
It is too late to say, as I did only about a week ago, that Donald Trump is about to wreck this nation. He has already finished us off, bankrupting us socially, morally, and diplomatically… Read More
2020-05-28 20:53
You may be having a hard time, but filthy corporate hogs with connections to theTrump Administration are doing just fine. Oink oink!Reuters, a business-oriented wire service with no known po… Read More
2020-05-28 03:19
The Trump Shuttle. Donald Trump bought this successful route and its aircraft fromEastern Airlines — and promptly sank it. And that's only a drop in the bucket.Wherever Dona… Read More
2020-05-19 21:15
Prove it, Gwyneth!The hullabaloo began, as probably everybody knows by now, when Gwyneth Paltrow’s tchotchkes-for-women marketing machine, an organization called Goop, began selling a… Read More
2020-05-13 20:57
Nine maggots on a sirloin steak. Now imagine nine millionCorona Viruses on the same piece of meat. (It may be inyour refrigerator.)Don’t get me wrong. I’m no vegan. I’m not… Read More
2020-05-06 20:48
A late model Lambo. If you have to ask what it costs, you can’t afford one. Enter a five-year-old boy with big ambitions.No need reminding you that the news out of our Trumpian dy… Read More
2020-05-04 20:26
Disclaimer: The New York Crank is not a psychiatrist or any kind of medicaldoctor or mental health professional and any opinions expressed or implied herein are simply speculative in na… Read More
2020-04-29 03:33
Much of the $350 billion intended for mom-and-pop businessesinstead got snarfed up by corporate pigs at public companies. Oink!Silly me! I looked at all the small businesses currently closed… Read More
2020-04-25 16:36
Professor of Pandemic Medicine Dr. Donald Trump, M.D., V.S.G.Good morning, class, and welcome to Pandemic Anatomy 102 here at the Trump University Institute of Intuitive Medicine. Before we… Read More
2020-04-17 05:03
Is it true that once this man is out of office, Crayola will issue a new orange crayon Called Burnt Trump? Just wondering.Donald Trump isn’t the only ch… Read More
2020-04-09 22:19
May 11, 1933: Adolph Hitler's followers express their for disdain for reportsand thoughts that displeased them by burning them on a huge bonfire.Everything old is new again.Every time you th… Read More
Minor Notes And Petty Observations From New York In The Time Of Donald Trump's Great American Plague
2020-04-04 01:36
Thanks to Donald Trump, America is so great again that we've gone straight back to the 17th Century.Hart's Island, a possession of New York City, is a bleak, Godforsaken clump of rocks, mud… Read More
2020-03-28 22:56
Is this a cadaver purporting to be the living Joe Biden?I have a slightly scary theory about Joe Biden. He died a week ago of the Corona Virus. He has been embalmed, stuffed, and equipp… Read More
2020-03-26 00:04
Paper towel and wet wipe hoarders are flushing their stashes — and it’s raising hell withNew York's plumbing. Okay, enough about that.I ordered a thermometer from Amazon &md&hell…Read More
2020-03-24 03:49
...but trust Donald Trump to ruin a good laugh. I can forgive Donald Trump for undermining democracy, wrecking the economy, sandbagging the very notion of fact. Or of science. Or of nor… Read More
2020-03-20 19:00
No mistakes here. I meant mental illness, not mental health. These are unhealthy times, starting with the sick-o in the Oval Office.Bye the bye, has anybody noticed that for the past three d… Read More
2020-03-17 05:31
Mmm, boy! Pandemic bat for lunch!Think about it. Some wannbe chef in Wuhan, China, decides to get creative and cooks up a wok-fried bat. The next thing you know, all of humanity is having a… Read More
2020-03-14 20:19
One of the techniques used to discourage a range of crimes from collaboration with the enemy to black market profiteering during WWIII first noticed it Thursday night when I went t… Read More
2020-03-12 16:58
It isn't easy to be simultaneously an incompetent leader and a corrupt crook, —but this idiot hits the all the marks as he makes America $6 trillion poorer—and countingSo We… Read More
2020-03-07 14:49
Elizabeth Warren — or some other woman — can still be President of the United States. And she can hold that office before 2024. Here's why.Of the three most likely President… Read More
2020-03-03 16:08
Current poster in New York City, encouraging anonymous crime tips. Note that tipsters are not required to be “unbiased.” True story to set the scene: In 1952, a 24… Read More
2020-02-27 15:50
Over on No More Mister Nice Blog this morning, I found blogger Steve M. speculating on what would happen if instead of Donald Trump, it was Bernie Sanders who shot somebody in the middle of… Read More
2020-02-20 22:54
Emotional support animal? I'll get to that right after Rob Blagojevich. So start readingAs Blago, so go the nation. Oh look! Rod Blagojevich, the former governor of Ill… Read More
2020-02-13 22:27
Where CNN viewers prefer to find their humor vs. where Fox Newsviewers find their favorite yacks. (Or, Bill Maher vs. the Three Stooges.)Source: an e-mail from Ad Age Datacenter, dated Feb… Read More
2020-02-10 16:41
2020-02-07 00:01
Should there be a national Tear Up Donald Trump's Picture Day?Talk about snowflakes!Nancy Pelosi listened politely to the end of Donald Trump's divisive, falsehood-laden State of the Union A… Read More
2020-01-31 17:30
Prescient art, found on a brick wall in hipster Brooklyn, November, 2017This is how Democracy dies. Not by foreign conquest, although that could come after Democracy's death. Not by nuclear… Read More
2020-01-23 23:23
Parisian graffiti (circa 2014) of a different Donald withrelated-but-different issues.I just knew this was bound to happen. Madame Galzogorist, the fortune teller who occupied… Read More
2020-01-14 20:53
King Louis XIV is what royalty used to look like when it really mattered.Thankfully, the world has progressed beyond that. Except when it comes to Megan and Harry.Does anybody in t… Read More
2020-01-13 03:39
This is not right. But what is?Sorry. Due to unexpected interruptions in my thinking, this blog has been dormant for the past week and may remain so for a bit longer. However...Check back of… Read More
2020-01-01 22:53
It’s old and rather tiresome news that just when you think Donald Trump’s administration can’t get any crazier, it becomes crazier.But the interminably long Trumpian opera… Read More
2019-12-29 23:45
Fake News! People are talking about nothing else. That's whatI've heard. On Sunday morning, Chuck Todd devoted his entire hour to Fake News: What it is. How it gets faked. Who's faking it. W… Read More
2019-12-25 04:03
Cross-posted at No More Mister Nice Blog Read More
2019-12-22 23:38
Some wiseacre entitled this photograph"Mitch McConnell and his Merry Band"Dang! The commentary tank is empty. I’m as dry as a dead steer’s skull on a sandhill in the Sonora Deser… Read More
2019-12-15 00:25
Meanwhile, firemen have begun a frantic search for freshlydiscarded staff and hangers-on from the Trump Administration.The Too-Public-For-Republicans ballot ballet: After bitterly… Read More
2019-12-09 02:04
You want proof that a lucky few Americans have too much money? I mean money that would do more for this country if it were taxed away from the one percent, as Elizabeth Warren and Bernie San… Read More
2019-12-01 17:25
Dummy: Ohio Rep. John Becker (Republican) co-sponsored a bill that requires Ohio doctors to do the medically impossible or possiblyface murder charges. But medical s… Read More
2019-11-25 19:21
Michael Bloomberg's 6,000-or-so square foot beach shack in Bermuda. He escapes there frequently via private jet, usually to play golf. Sound familiar?In quite a few ways, Michael Bloomb… Read More
2019-11-21 05:17
Crazy Joe the BlondCrazy Don the OrangeBack in the 1960s, a small potatoes Brooklyn thug who had two street names, “Joey the Blond” and “Crazy Joe Gallo” got a crew t… Read More
2019-11-15 05:32
Mme. Galzogorist sees all, hears all, knows all, tells all, dings allIt’s been three years since I’ve gone to see Madame Galzogorist, the political fortune-telling seer of the ga… Read More
2019-11-10 17:41
Having looked into the future and seen the Era of Trump,a Renaissance Man tosses his cookiesSo Kraft Heinz, in addition to selling pickles and ketchup and Velveeta, has been… Read More
2019-11-04 23:43
"When the dike breaks, fingers are of no use."(Quotation from the sayings of Hope Loewenstein."Good for you, E. Jean Carroll, for suing Donald Trump for rape.But lotsa luck collecting.Accord… Read More
Sperm Bikes. Un-sexy Millennials. The Circleville Pumpkin Show. Plus Other Stuff The Cat Dragged In.
2019-10-29 02:55
This is either a weird solution for low sperm motility or a reallystupid bicycle. I have nothing more to say about this.Is it possible that Republicans have ruined everybody’s sex… Read More
2019-10-22 18:45
Best retro photograph of some advertising guys pretending to rob aSeattle bank (circa 1966)Best putdown of Rudolph Giuliani by a newspaper columnist goes to Carl Hiaasen of t… Read More
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