You know, every so often, the universe just hands you a gift wrapped in a big, shiny bow. Like when you discover that you’re lactose intolerant after gorging on an entire family-sized wheel of cheese. That’s the feeling I get when I see the headline, “Trump ‘Open’ to RFK Jr. Role as Polls Suggest Dropping Out Hurts Harris.”

First of all, Donald Trump thinking about roles for other people is like asking a tornado to decide which houses to spare. The man’s delegation skills are fantastic, which is why his cabinet meetings looked like a lost crew of extras from Gossip Girl.

And then there’s Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Now, I’m all for legacy families. Heck, we love dynasties in America more than we love pumpkin spice lattes. But RFK Jr., boy, he’s like the murky bottom of an otherwise pristine gene pool. He’s an environmental lawyer who thinks vaccines have been weaponized by the Illuminati. You know, because scientific consensus from every credible health organization on Earth just wasn’t fishy enough. Nothing says “I read my conspiracy theories exclusively on Reddit at 3 in the morning” like RFK Jr.

But let’s get down to brass tacks: a Trump and RFK Jr. collaboration. The comedic potential is off the charts. You couldn’t script this if you tried. Trump, a man who thinks hearsay should be admissible evidence, and RFK Jr., who probably has a corkboard full of vaccine charts in his basement like he’s preparing for a starring role in the next true crime series.

Polls suggest that RFK Jr. dropping out would hurt Kamala Harris. No kidding, Sherlock! My neighbor could drop out of his candidacy for Homeowners Association president and it would probably impact Harris’ campaign too. It’s all connected in politics through some twisted form of butterfly effect that only pundits and basement-dwelling conspiracy theorists understand.

Here’s a thought: what would RFK Jr.’s role be under Trump? Secretary of Alternative Realities? Minister of Misinformation? Czar of the Tinfoil Hat Brigade? At this rate, I’d half expect them to resurrect national debates on the shape of the Earth, just to sprinkle some pizzazz into our sluggish news cycles. They’d be like a two-man circus act, but instead of tightropes and juggling, you get daily rants without coherent sentences or logical conclusions.

Say what you will about his environmental efforts. If tending to the environment means misinterpreting scientific data so excessively that you’d combust if you ever set foot in a real lab… yes, RFK Jr., you’re doing an outstanding job. And then there’s Trump – a man whose idea of an environmental policy involves making sure Mar-a-Lago’s golf course remains pristine, regardless of where he has to relocate a few endangered sea turtles.

But let’s talk logistics. Trump loves loyalty, as long as loyalty means nodding vigorously while he rants. RFK Jr., on the other hand, could spend hours explaining how Monsanto and the moon landing are somehow interconnected. Imagine the cabinet meetings. They’d go full throttle discussing how fluoride in tap water is a government mind control prank.

Wait, instead of doing real work, they could focus on truly critical issues like why Bigfoot still hasn’t been given citizenship or debating if Nessie deserves to vote. If Trump’s previous cabinet meetings were operatic tragedies, this mashup has the potential of being a farcical Broadway play. I’d buy front row tickets to watch the madcap misadventures.

It is, after all, a wild time in our political theater when Trump seems to court RFK Jr. with the gentleness of a bear holding a butterfly. The entertainment value alone could surpass the World Cup, if you consider listening to hours of unstable rhetoric a sport.

In the end, Trump and RFK Jr. would be like peanut butter and jelly – if peanut butter was a volatile insomniac and jelly believed it was part of an alien plot. This is the fantastic duo we don’t need, don’t want, but hell, if they aren’t the trainwreck we’ll inevitably watch. Stay tuned, America! It’s going to be a bumpy ride not through the rabbit hole, but straight into it.

Source: Trump ‘Open’ to RFK Jr. Role as Polls Suggest Dropping Out Hurts Harris

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