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Montana: Where Guns Are Plentiful and Common Sense is Rare

Let’s talk about Montana, the “Big Sky Country” where the skies are big, but apparently, safety nets are just suggestions. The state has the highest suicide rate in the entire freakin’ United States, and guess what? Most of these tragic endings involve guns. It’s like a bad spaghetti western— except, nobody’s riding off into the sunset.

You know, Montana should probably change their state motto to something more fitting. Currently, it’s “Oro y Plata” which means gold and silver. I think it should be: “Montana: Where the Skies Are Big and the Gun Safety is Small”. Can you believe this? They’ve got more guns than rational thoughts.

Now, before some folks get their camo trucker hats all in a twist, let me remind you: suicide is no laughing matter (unless you’re a morbid comedian, but I digress). What’s hilarious here, in the most disturbing way possible, is the sheer absurdity of a state not doing anything about it. It’s like Montana saw the problem and said, “Nah, we’re good. We’ll just shoot our worries away.”

One of the leading causes of this mess is that guns are just lying around like they’re Black Friday specials. Hey kids, breakfast is on the table and locked, loaded firearms are in the living room! Just don’t mix up the milk with the revolver!

The conversation around gun control in Montana is like explaining quantum physics to a goat. It’s not happening. The argument always goes, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Yeah, well, mosquitoes don’t technically give people malaria either—they’re just the delivery system.

Imagine a world where taking away guns means everyone turns into John Wick! Reality check: you’re more likely to stub your toe on the gun rack than fend off an armed rabid grizzly bear.

And yet, these folks will argue you down to your last brain cell. Why? Because they watch too many action movies and genuinely believe the government’s gonna bust into their barns one day, asking for their granddaddy’s musket. Get a grip. The government can’t even fill a pothole without a seven-year debate. They’re not coming for your squirrel rifle.

And what’s the solution they muster? More guns! It’s like finding out you have a rat infestation and deciding the best way to deal with it is to get a couple of cats. And when the cats multiply and make things worse, should you get more cats? No. It’s endless.

Montana’s climate isn’t helping either. When you freeze your butt off half the year, it’s hard to stay optimistic. Shoveling snow can make you question life’s purpose pretty quickly. They should have therapy huts next to every ski lodge. Skiing downhill while your mental health plummets isn’t my idea of fun.

Now, let’s not forget the fabled “Montana independent spirit.” Ah yes, the ruggedness of folks who prefer isolation over intervention. Imagine Tom Hanks in Cast Away, but instead of getting off the island, he’s stockpiling firearms. It’s a one-man army against the evil forces of loneliness and moose.

At this rate, even the tourist brochures need an update. Forget “Yellowstone National Park”—how about “Montana: Come for the Nature, Stay Because You Accidentally Shot Yourself in the Foot”?

The absurdity doesn’t just end with adults. No, they’ve got kids involved too! Teenagers are depressed—surprise, surprise, hormones plus chronic cold weather is a bad combo. But let’s just leave these kids with grandpa’s shotguns because, you know, freedom.

So here’s my unsolicited advice to Montana. First, mandatory Mental Health checks. Yeah, I know, it sounds like a government overreach, but in reality, it’s a commonsense move. Treat owning a gun like you treat earning a driver’s license—prove you won’t ram into a school bus first.

Second, lock up those guns. Make it as hard to get into your gun safe as it is to get an Amazon package delivered on time during the holidays. Keep the ammo separate! If you have to run an obstacle course to unite them, odds are you’ll reconsider that spur-of-the-moment tragic decision.

Or, how about a tax incentive for not owning a gun? Think of it like a reverse NRA membership. Join today and get 10% off therapy sessions!

And finally, for the love of whatever deity you believe in, education. Teach people the true impact of their choices. Inform them about safe gun storage, mental health resources, and how blowing off steam shouldn’t involve actual gunpowder.

Montana, we love your big skies and beautiful landscapes, but let’s not turn “The Last Best Place” into “The Last Place You Should Consider Moving”. Get it together, folks. Life is short enough without making it shorter because of some Wild West fantasy gone wrong.

Folks, let’s hope Montana gets a grasp on reality before it’s too late. And always remember to laugh—because though humor doesn’t solve problems, it sure makes them easier to bear.

Source: Montana’s Suicide Rate Is Highest in the U.S., With Most Involving Guns

The post Montana: Where Guns Are Plentiful and Common Sense is Rare first appeared on DEMOCRAWONK.

This post first appeared on Liberal Politics With A Kick, please read the originial post: here

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Montana: Where Guns Are Plentiful and Common Sense is Rare