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Dating While Feminist

Dating while Feminist can be such a sad and dangerous thing.

Most feminist Women who stand by their convictions publicly can inevitably suffer the backlash privately in all their interpersonal relationships.

As an anti-porn feminist, finding a Boyfriend or a man who doesn’t think it is innate or his right to sexually objectify and gawk at another woman is so futile and to also find one who does not include internet porn or sexual images into his repertoire, is asking for a miracle.

Trying to convince her boyfriend that, “No, I am not insecure simply because I think you think that the other woman is attractive, just the simple fact that you think you have to validate her existence, by looking her up and down on the sly, and by trying to establish eye contact when I’m not looking.”

I had a boyfriend say to me in other words, that I should be thankful that other men think I’m attractive when they hoot and holler and cat-call me.  Which simply brings the statement of a female’s body and appearance must be validated and measured at all times in order to have a sense of purpose in this world.

So what does a woman to do?  Does she help the ever-flawed boyfriend she has and try to mold him into something he just cannot wrap his mind and heart around, hoping that he’d evolve somehow from Neanderthal to Pro-Feminist, by the grace of Goddess?

My last relationship actually reflected the history of my past relationships.  It comes to the culmination of anger and frustration that can result to maliciousness and brute-force actions and insults.

No, I am not going to sit here while you watch all the Nascar, car auction action, and all the string of hot babe commercials that follow.  No, I’m not going to go boating with you so that you can coast by other boats with young women in bikinis so you get a look-see.

Oh, but I’m supposed to trust you to not actually follow through on your “innocent” actions and your obvious desires, okay, because your intentions are good.

If a man has to go all out just to get a visual fix of someone else, really, what does that boil down to?  All those women who think of themselves liberated enough to welcome these actions into their world, then, yes, most definitely,  it goes to prove, that ignorance is bliss.

As a feminist, I cannot post an ad on Craigslist personal or any online dating personal for that matter and expect the men come running when I drop the “F” bomb as my political standing.  The “F” word to them is like someone saying a derogatory name to a person of color.  However, it does not equate to the same thing in reality, because the fear of Feminism is misplaced due to lack of education and enlightenment.

One day I hope to find my knight and shining armor of a Feminist Man.  Because that is what my literal view would be of him.  But the real world is messy and convoluted and oh, so misguided and hateful.

I just want love like anyone else but not at all cost and not without losing myself.

This post first appeared on My Other Alter, please read the originial post: here

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Dating While Feminist


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