10. What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull.
9. What are the three most terrifying words a woman can say?
“Notice anything different?”
8. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints.
7. Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
6. What does a man with two right feet wear to the beach?
5. Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the ‘p’ is silent.
4. How does a pessimist count his blessings?
3. What is ET short for?
Because he’s got them tiny little legs.
2. What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
“Icy dead people.”
1. Why does Donald Trump sleep with a tub of hummus?
Because there’s nothing he LOVES MORE than when he has a chickpea in his bed.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.