On Being Different:
I had another blog post halfway written. I will finish it and I will post it. Another day. Today I must write about what is weighing heavily on my mind and heart.
I try to be lighthearted, silly, entertaining when I share here. Today I will not be.
I try to be straightforward and honest. Today I must be a bit cryptic.
Our home, our family, is dealing with being different. Don’t get me wrong, we deal with being different on a daily basis. Anxiety, Sensory Issues, processing issues etc are a few things that make up our everyday life. I have always been open and clear to my boys about what having Aspergers means. I refuse to create a situation where they are ashamed/insecure and try to hide their differences. I instead work very hard every day to show them the beauty in their differences and how to overcome the struggles that come with them. I teach them to be open about it in hopes that it will make their lives easier and so that they might help others.
My boys and I…. We know we are different.
We are not “ok” with being different.
We celebrate the HELL out of being different.
Yep, it can be difficult. Yep, at times it makes me want to scream and/or pull all of my hair out. Certain clothes, certain foods (which can abruptly change with no warning), rigidity, HUGE fears, sleeping issues, hyperfocus (one of them likes to follow me around nonstop talking about his latest obsession) (FOR WEEKS), easily overwhelmed, sensory issues (which we all have different of: one of us smell, one of us sound, and one of us taste), etc. There is plenty more. Trust me.
But. It comes with incredible gifts and talents as well. And?
We kinda geek out over BEING DIFFERENT.
Our experience with it has been extremely good. My being different has brought me both the technical and creative components to Photography as well as the business sense to actually make a living at it. I have received an overwhelming response from people who love my work.
My boys have had the same reception. They have been told what amazing, perceptive little souls they are and what an amazing sense of memory they have. They have been told that they are sweet, kind, and wise little beings that surely have been on this earth for many lifetimes. They have been told that, given their intelligence, they will go far; they will change the world.
All extremely good.
Except somewhere deep down I knew that it wouldn’t always be good. That the day would come where we would meet a situation that, despite all I have instilled in them, would make them Feel Bad about being different. Feel bad about who they are. We have gone a very long time without it happening.
We are here now. It has happened.
I badly want to close down my house.
I want to scoop them both up and tell them that they never have to go out into the world again.
That they never have to be Hurt by ignorance again.
That they will never be cut deep again based on not something-they-have-done-or-didn’t-do-or-said-or- didn’t-say but WHO THEY ARE and HOW they do things. For no other reason than that they are different.
Instead we will take this cue that it is time to move on. To learn, to grow, to know better.
My name is Rebekah Mcclelland. Those that I love call me Bekah. I am a newborn, baby, and child photographer in Cleveland, OH.
I am different. And today it hurts.
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