Fostering Children has always been challenging. Parents and Foster Carers have to be mindful of risks that have always existed but have now; because of technology, escalated to an unprecedented level. This means children can no longer be deemed to be safe at home. They can be vulnerable to being groomed and sexually abused in their own bedroom. Instinct is something all parents and foster carers possess. And for those fostering children, it especially means trusting them. But carers and parents still need to be supported themselves so the steps they take are the right ones. In this series of blogs we are looking at the general risks of exploitation children and youngsters face – especially the threat posed by the internet. Sexual abuse can have a devastating and life-changing effect on a child or young person. It can affect their education, their prospects and their ability to form relationships. It is something all foster carers need to have a high degree of awareness about. 

Fostering means keeping vigilant.

Being suspicious is not a pleasant frame of mind – whatever the cause. But fostering means recognising your suspicions may well be valid and acting on them. It will be hard for any parent to deal with suspicions their child might be being sexually abused. The very idea is traumatic. This makes it important for a parent or foster carer to understand what they and their child are feeling. This makes it easier to seek help and practical advice. 

Children’s behaviour is constantly changing as they grow up. Dealing with this is part of parenting – it can be both frustrating and joyful. But if there are changes – however slight – that arouse suspicions that instinct should not be ignored. These might be:

• unexpected changes in behaviour that are out of character – a child might become aggressive, clingy, withdrawn and moody, have regular nightmares or wet the bed;
• avoiding a particular person – many abusers are relatives or friends of the family;
• a child might suddenly have money or new possessions;
• sexually inappropriate behaviour – children who are being abused may also use sexualised language;
• poor performance at school – abused children often have problems concentrating and learning;
• a child might drop hints that abuse is happening without openly revealing it;
• actual physical signs – bruising in the genital area, soreness or a sexually transmitted infection.

How to communicate.

Before starting a conversation, a child may not mention sexual abuse as they think it is their fault. An abuser may have convinced them that such behaviour is normal or a ‘special secret’ not to be shared. Children may also be told that no one will believe them. Although you as the foster carer or parent will be extremely worried, it is important that you have a calm discussion. Being honest and supportive is what is required. Always remember that sexual abuse is never the fault of a child or young person. They are victims who are being exploited. When asking questions make it clear you are only doing so because you can see they are worried and you want to help. A lot of children don’t disclose as they are frightened they might be punished. Having access to the internet and phone stopped can be another powerful reason why children keep silent.

Child sexual abuse is a crime whether past or current and should always be reported to the police. The number to call is 999.

Join our Rainbow Fostering family.

Rainbow Fostering was established over twenty years ago. In that time we have built a thriving community of foster carers. We are looking to find more people to become foster carers – we organise safe, secure and stable settings for vulnerable children. We do this for local authorities across London, Birmingham, Manchester and Hampshire. the professionalism and motivation of our team and the way we support foster carers and their placements have been recognised by Ofsted. We have been rated ‘Outstanding in all areas’. 

Foster carers are in high demand. It is a career that has many advantages. It is flexible and you work from home. And you have around the clock support. Looking after foster children can be challenging as well as rewarding. Rainbow provides free training that enables foster carers to specialise in particular areas. Some examples are Parent and Child fostering, fostering children who need therapeutic care following trauma, fostering an asylum seeker or fostering a disabled child.

Eligibility to foster.

Fostering is open to people who are (over 21) married, divorced, single or cohabiting. You can foster children or young people whatever your sexual orientation, ethnicity or cultural background. There is no upper age limit to being a foster carer. You should be reasonably fit. You do not have to own your own home.

Although we are in a national lockdown, you can still apply to foster today. We have streamlined the process starting with an initial chat online via Skype. Our applicants report this is a reassuring and friendly experience without any obligation. A member of our recruitment team will be available to guide you. Call us on 0330 311 2845 today. We know our children need warm, welcoming, nurturing and supportive care – and that’s exactly what our foster carers can expect from us too!

Our aim is to keep you updated about the issues relating to fostering as well as those affecting it. We have a news page and today’s recommended blog can be found at:

Please make sure and check the latest advice and guidance to stay safe and well – visit –  https://www.health-ni.gov.uk/coronavirus

All our contact details and regional office locations can be found via the link below. If you prefer, you can leave your contact details on our website and arrange for a member of our team to call you later at a time to suit you. We very much look forward to hearing from you! 

Everyone remember Hands, Face, Space – protect the NHS. http://rainbowfostering.co.uk/contact/ Rainbow putting the focus on fostering.

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