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How to Maintain Influence when your kids are away from home

How do we handle the ways our children are being influenced when they are away from home?  Are we able to maintain influence in their lives or are they left at the mercy of whomever they are with and we are stuck hoping and praying for the best?

This past weekend we let our 2 boys stay at their grandparents overnight.  As we were talking through what they did, my 4 year old let it slip that he had watched Caillou while he was there.  That doesn’t sound like a big deal but my son knows he is not supposed to Watch Caillou.  All Caillou does is whine and we are trying to teach our kids not to whine. (novel idea I know)

When i asked my son why he watched it, he said “Because you weren’t there.”  Seems so simple.   I wasn’t there so it must have been OK.  How do you get a 4 year old to see that just because daddy isn’t there doesn’t mean it is OK to do something he knows he shouldn’t?

I tried to talk to him about integrity and how integrity was doing the right thing even when mom and dad weren’t around.  His response, “But you weren’t there!!”  Haha.  Good point.

But seriously… how should we respond to this thought that the rules only apply when mom and dad are around?

I have a couple of thoughts on the matter.

1.      Have conversations and get on the same page with the influencers in our children’s lives.
We need to be sharing our parenting strategies and philosophies with the Influencers in our children’s Lives so they can help us, not set us back.

We are trying to get it right. Nothing more. Nothing less.  And the more people who are in on the process, the better chance we have.

2.     If the influencers are not willing to join us we should seriously consider their role in our childrens lives.

This could be awkward but think about what is at stake.  
You are your child’s advocate.  You must be willing to make tough decisions on their behalf.  They are not capable, yet, of standing up for themselves.  You must do it for them and guard their hearts above all else.

Now, is letting them watch Caillou a big deal?  Probably not.  But there are many things that are big deals that should be fought for.

Chances are, if you have that conversation with your child’s influencers they will be elated to join you in your quest of raising great kids.

But, if they are not, you must be willing to fight for your child’s heart and make the tough decision for them.

And PLEASE, don’t let them watch Caillou!!!!

Question: Has anyone had a conversation with the influencers in their child’s lives?  Leave a comment below.

This post first appeared on Parent Intentionally, please read the originial post: here

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How to Maintain Influence when your kids are away from home


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