Alright, let’s cut the crap. We’re all worried about the coronavirus. Don’t tell Michael because I act nonchalant but I’m concerned too.

So instead of stewing, I decided to write what it’s bringing to mind for me. Pull up a chair, put on The Best of Pavarotti (narc alert!) and pour yourself a glass of Shiraz. (Apparently, if you take a “What Wine Will You Like” online quiz and answer “Oh yucky, get it away” to every question, they recommend Shiraz. Opinion: Meh.)

Collected Dangers, Volumes 1-27

If there’s anything I hate in this life, it’s pathological fear. The kind of fear that sees a rapist around every corner. The kind of fear that keeps you isolated, keeps you afraid, keeps you from fully enjoying our beautiful Planet Earth as a full member of the human race. I hate it because I had it foisted upon me and it robbed me of so many experiences and so much joy.

Maybe you have someone like this in your life who seems to thrive on collecting danger. You can almost imagine them, Jacob Marley-like, dragging huge invisible tomes entitled Collected Dangers, Volumes 1-27 through life. My mom and Grandmother felt like that to me. Mom loved to wax eloquent about danger, I believe, to make herself feel somehow vindicated for agoraphobia. The fact that something has finally come down the pike that merits concern, unlike Mom’s infamous bedbug phobia period, is incredibly irritating for me. I hate to see fear validated.

Last week, PsychCentral published the amazing article Were You Raised to be Afraid. Absolute MUST READ! It explains how some parents confuse parenting with terrifying their children about all the dangers in this world. It’s not the same thing! Parenting does not equal scaring. It leaves the child feeling afraid of their own planet, feeling inappropriate to life on Planet Earth.

But I digress…

Second only to my dislike of fear is my dislike of “prepping.” It all started in 1999 when my parents became convinced that Y2K would be the end of life as we knew it…and notified everyone they knew of that fact. Every day, it was my job to rush home from technical college, pick up my mom and help her buy a huge load of groceries. Sometimes we shopped twice in one afternoon. Our knee joints began to snap, crackle, pop and hurt, ruined by carrying hundreds of pounds of canned goods to the pantry for storage.

By the time we were “ready” for Y2K, we had enough water, Danish Canned Ham, maxi pads and eyeliner to last us through Armageddon. We had flour…but back then the only loaves I knew how to make were “boat anchors.” Supplies are fine but you need knowledge on how to use them well.

January 1st, 2000 dawned clear and sunny, nothing happened and we slunk away with our tails between our legs…and ate Danish canned ham for years. (Yuck!)

I hope and pray this damned Covid-19 ends pretty much the same way as Y2K even while realizing I’m comparing apples to oranges. Concern and care are merited…but I refuse to get paranoiac for anyone!

Wars, Revolutions, Floods, Plagues

In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye trudges through his shtetl, praying aloud:

Troubles, troubles. That’s all You hear from me, right? But who else can we simple people take our troubles to? You know, sometimes I wonder, who do You take your troubles to? …

You are very busy now. Wars, revolutions, floods, plagues, all those little things that bring people back to You.

He was right. Fear has a way of making us remember faith and faith has never been my strong suite. I mean, Doubting Thomas was always my favorite apostle but if nothing else, Covid-19 reminds us to have faith. It’s all we have right now when we’re all obliged to play this dreadful waiting game. I find it comforting to remember what King David wrote in Psalm 31:15:

My times are in Thy hand.

Job 14: 5:

 Seeing his days are determined,
the number of his months are with Thee,
Thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass;

Michael has shown me that nothing kindles the Love of Life more than a threat to Life. When Michael was diagnosed with rare and terminal Pulmonary Alveolar Proteinosis, he was instantly referred to a psychiatrist against his will. Michael’s pulmonologist assumed that a terminal diagnosis automatically leads to depression and giving up on Life.

“What the Hell do I need a psychiatrist for?” Michael said. “It took you three years to figure out what was wrong with me. I’m just happy to finally know!”

Then he went out and embraced life. Instead of blaming God for allowing his lung disease, moaning about his shortened lifespan or cursing God for the agony in which he lives, Michael threw himself into absorbing, interesting hobbies, determined to learn as much as he could, all day, every day.

Sure, sometimes he asks, “Why me?” but he never blames God. I’ve never seen him angry at God. I always tell Michael that he’s like Job in the Bible who lost everything…money, possessions, family, health…and said:

Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.

In a few months, Michael will celebrate living eleven years past when his doctors said he would die. He’s outlived the other three cases of PAP diagnosed by his pulmonologist.

So how does he do it!? His great attitude, passionate love of Life, indomitable will to Live, Live, Live and putting his faith and his Life in God’s hands every day keeps him going. It’s a great lesson for all of us.

Be Kind, Be Considerate

In the final analysis, if worst comes to worst, God forbid, we must cling to our good characters. In Othello, Act iii, Scene iii, Iago tells Othello:

Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
‘Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands:
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.

In other words, no matter what happens, keep your character. Be kind. This is the time to let our good characters shine through. To isolate ourselves if we need to. To care for others if we need to. To keep our characters. It’s all we have.

The old cliché, “The only way out…is through” perfectly fits this weird ass time in history.

So, What Have We Learned Today?

Anthony Bourdain would always say, “Well, what have we learned today?” in a sarcastic tone. That was his way of telling the crew, “We are done filming today and I’m about to rip my freaking microphone off.”

That’s how I feel. I’m so done with this topic and this article so I’ll close with a famous story from World War II. The Queen Mother was once asked if she and then Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret would be leaving London during the Blitz. She responded heroically:

“The children won’t go without me.
I won’t leave the King.
And the King will never leave.”

This is the Blitz of our day. I intend to “Keep Calm and Carry On” and write my flippin’ giblets out…as I always do.

We’ll get through this together.

Thanks for reading!

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