The cheerful bubbling of my radiator on a cold New England morning. The warmth of my husband’s chest against my back in the middle of a wintery New England night. The lucidity of children grounded in this reality. The things we take for Granted.

Luke was admitted back into the hospital this week. More complications of kidney failure are plaguing him. The latest complication was stomach pain. This is in addition to insomnia, short-term memory loss, always feeling frigid, persistent exhaustion and general aching pain. He’s so ill most of the time that it’s hard to know when to bring him in. His baseline is just…miserable.

The heat shut off again on a Saturday. The day after a company had been out to fix it. $300 later, we had heat and hot water back. We were able to continue with Mary’s thirteenth birthday. It’s hard to believe my youngest child is now a teen.

I’ve been putting in 12-14 hour days at work. I need to complete 2 additional months of lesson planning and report cards in order to take 8 weeks off for the kidney donation. I am thankful every day that my parents are nearby. My mother brings dinner. Nana and Papa care for Mary or bring Luke back to the hospital while I’m stuck at work.

My mother’s spaghetti is a much-needed life raft on these turbulent seas. A heartfelt apology from Marcus (one of the only ones he’s ever given) is a rare and unexpected boon. Mary’s continued presence in the here-and-now is a gift I cannot afford to overlook.

All of these things might go unnoticed in calmer times. The things so often overlooked and unacknowledged. Those buffers allowing forward motion in a turbulent time. The things that cannot be taken for granted.

**Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.