Before I knew it, snap! My daughter turned 9 and overnight and I was living with a tween…on the road to increased independence, teen years and a whole bunch of things to keep you on your toes all over again as a parent.

Watching your baby grow up so fast is utterly heart-wrenching. On the one hand, you swell with pride as they start effectively becoming a mini adult. On the other hand, you want to baby them and have to fight extra hard against this emotion.

But whatever way you look at it, there are certain hallmarks of these years that you need to be aware of when Living with a tween. This is what they are:

Super sassiness

Your tween’s personality development is becoming supercharged right now. This is the time when strong opinions start becoming evident, so be sure to respect and honour them and treat them seriously (especially if you ever want to be respected in turn as a parent). Oh and expect a whole bunch of eye-rolling in the mix too.

Flip-flopping between your baby and all-out independence

One minute you are the super cool funny hug dispensing mum, the next you are the cringeworthy, super unfunny and uncool pain in the bum. The flip-flopping could drive you crazy as you try to work out where you stand (eventually it will probably just become the latter). In the meantime, make sure you get good at laughing at yourself as that will help to diffuse any tension.

Emotional rollercoasters

One minute they can be on cloud nine happy as Larry and giggling and the next they can be overcome by big emotions, feeling angry, frustrated and tearful. Be ready for every eventuality and a different personality every day. Be nimble and move quickly with them so you can meet them where they are. And remember…don’t take any of it personally!

Puberty!

Yes, get ready because it’s coming…or may already be here. It’s time to get real about body changes, spots, hair and more. The changes are likely to be even more confusing for your child than for you the parent. Give them the space they need to adjust, and be there to talk and normalise it all, while providing an open, supportive and loving environment that they can fall back on whenever they need.

Self-image

Self-image starts to become more important…expect more time in the mornings spent on this (in our case lots of hair brushing and hairstyles!), putting outfits together and the like and ensure you buffer in enough time for them to get ready as this suddenly starts taking a whole lot longer as they perfect their look for the day.

Know this too shall pass

Just like with every stage of parenting, the tween phase is only temporary. It can be tough watching your little carefree angel turn metaphorphisize into the next version of their self. Know that all of this is necessary and if you keep your cool then at the end you’ll get to meet your new upgraded version of your current prototype soon which is pretty cool and worth it all in my view.

If you are currently living with a tween then I am sure all of the above will sound familiar. Feel free to share your experiences below in a comment!

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