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Job Stress, Life Stress, and an Issue with Sidekick

I'm back!!!!!  Wow!  I can't believe it's been so long since I have written anything in my blog.  Life has been... well... pretty shitty workwise and busy with life in general. 
I've been with my company for 16 years, which I'm pretty proud of.  My company has been bought out so many times and has been under new management more times than I can remember.  We were at our national Sales Meeting in early January, and quite frankly, it sucked.  It was depressing. It was not what we needed.  It was not fun at all.  I hated every minute of it. What really sucks is that after Sidekick was so sick, I was so excited to get out of town, even if it was work related, but I sure hated where I was.

On September 1st, we were challenged to sell $150,000 of new business in Q4 (our slowest quarter), and the top ten account executives, would receive a $500 Visa gift card. I decided to play the game so I looked good, and I actually sold the required amount, which I took from my 2016 sales.  During the awards at the sales meeting, my Manager stood up and said that apparently no one had qualified for that gift card.  I was PISSED!  I immediately told him I had, and he asked me to send him an email with "documentation" which I did.  Apparently, customers had to be billed by the 18th of December which was a Friday.  My customer sent their order in that morning, but the company didn't bill them until Monday, so I didn't win!  My manager has always been supportive and explained to his manager who he had in 2015 that it's not my fault the company did that.  Unfortunately, we are under new management again, and they don't seem to give a shit. So while I played the game to make myself look good and help the company, I got screwed and didn't get the gift card. That left a very sour taste in my mouth and I began to not really care.
Fast forward to a week ago, and we were given our sales goals.  Mine went up about $1.2 million, and our bonus structure is paying us $10,000 less. Does that make sense???  My manager explained to his manager that the company is setting us up for failure and that it is impossible his team will hit their number... not because we suck but because it's unreasonable.  My manager's manager is a slave driver.  He has no life, so he expects us to be on the road (I have a home office) five days a week and then do cost proposals, emails, etc. in the evening.  Is he freaking kidding?  I have a life and I don't get paid enough.  The company dynamics knocked me into a bit of a depression...
I became a shitty mom.  I mean to the point that Sidekick knew something was up.  I cried easily, and I could barely talk about work. I lost my patience with Sidekick and snipped at him often.  I was so overwhelmed with my job that I couldn't function.  I seemed to not be able to keep up.  It was horrible.  And then I realized I had to get a grip and focus on what is important... my family.  So Sidekick and I went out and enjoyed life!  We had two weekends of warm spells, so we went hiking.  Sidekick hiked 2 1/2 miles one day and didn't once ask for me to carry him.  At the end, he still wanted to play in the playground.  His energy is endless, and I love it!  He is confident, fearless, and a free spirit... all things I needed to remind myself to be.  Being out in nature with this amazing boy was just what I needed.


And then we shoveled snow, and played in it, and laughed, and then cozied up in front of the fireplace. I took it all in... the innocence of this sweet boy, his love for me, and his compassion and excitement for the world around. 

While all of that has been going on, my house has been a mess!  My unfinished basement has been under construction and will be finished in two weeks!  My office is in my bedroom, Sidekick's kitchen is in the kitchen, his tool bench is in the hallway next to my bedroom, and his train table is in his bedroom.  I am thankful that he doesn't have very many toys because I have not idea what I would do with all the crap.  And the dust... goodness gracious the dust that covers the floors, furniture, etc. I've given up on keeping it clean.  I cannot wait to put everything back together and have a warm, comfy, basement where my office will be, Sidekick's toys will all be, and our new, big TV will be.  Exciting times ahead. 
As if all of that wasn't keeping me busy, I've been dealing with Sidekick's hearing issue.  Through the school district, they do a developmental screening and he failed his hearing test on December 1st.  He retested a month later, and he failed again. We went to an audiologist, and he has been diagnosed with mild hearing loss.  We are hopeful that it a result of fluid in his ears, so we finally have an appointment with an ENT next Friday.  He can hear, but for months he's been saying he can't hear the music, TV, etc very well.  And within the past few weeks, he's been commenting that he hears a buzzing sound in his ears.  He also qualified for Speech therapy through the school district.  Fortunately, the speech therapist will go to his school (daycare) once a week, and I don't have to pay for it.  He's having trouble with the "k" sound, which really sucks when your name starts with a C, and in my state, that means he can get speech therapy.  His speech therapist and I are wondering if the hearing issue is causing the speech issue.  I guess I'll know more after his appointment with the ENT next week. 
Seriously... I've had more on my plate this past two months than I ever have!  While I struggled with the decision to have only one child, the last two months I am so relieved that I only have one.  Juggling work, Sidekick's appointments, construction, etc. has been really tough and exhausting. I so wish I had family in the same state so I can just get a break.  
And finally... it's two days before Valentine's Day and today was Sidekick's party at school.  While this shirt is grammatically incorrect, I bought it because we love skulls (and crossbones).  This boy sure makes me smile, and I'm glad I found my way back to being a patient, loving, somewhat happy Momma.   

I'm sure I've missed a lot more, but it's getting late, and I am exhausted. At least I feel a little more caught up with this blog!  I totally sucked for a long time.  Priorities, right?  Boy, I was really struggling with that.  Hoping to feel back on track soon! 

This post first appeared on Going Solo With My Sidekick, please read the originial post: here

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Job Stress, Life Stress, and an Issue with Sidekick


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