Why is it that children hate brushing their teeth? How come when I ask them to go brush their Teeth you would have thought I asked them to burn all their favourite stuffys. I’ve said it before and ill say it again; I’m not a monster! They all have a spin brush with their favourite character on it, special toothpaste according to which character they prefer annnnd yummy Minion mouthwash too! They should try my minty sensitive teeth shit I have to use! Id kill for a bubblegum flavor!
I will be honest in saying we didn’t push the teeth thing too hard in the beginning. They’re baby teeth, what harm can it cause, right? Wrong! Brushing is very important! You know how you learn that? When number one has to be referred to a specialist to be put under to fix all the damn cavities in his 4-year-old mouth! Shiiiit. If we didn’t have benefits we’d be looking at a price tag of over $3000! So after that horror show is done and my heart returns to normal speed after my baby is put under anesthetic we are on top of the brushing of the teeth! Until number two needs to go for the exact same thing! He needs a tooth pulled though! Where is the Tooth Fairy handbook? Does he get money for a tooth that had a cavity and was pulled? Is there ethics attached to this whole tooth fair business? Whew ok made it through two kids with bad teeth. But guess what?! In the spirit of keeping things fair number three needs it too. Have I failed as a parent or can we chalk it up as inheriting bad teeth. I’m gonna pass the buck on this one and thank baby Jesus that I have a phenomenal benefit plan.
In an unusual turn of events, number 2 lost yet another tooth yesterday. I think he’s at number 6. BUT he couldn’t find it when it literally fell out. He thinks he swallowed it. you think you swallowed it? is it me or shouldn’t you know? Anyway it was no where to be found. A big gapping whole in the front of his mouth remained. Just in time for Christmas and for everyone to sing that damn song too! So anyway we had him write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining what had happened then tuck it into his Tooth pillow at bedtime. That should do the trick! Except that the tooth fairy FORGOT TO COME! We explained to him that she was probably confused (fell asleep) and didn’t know he had lost a tooth since it wasn’t there and he probably needed to draw a picture on the not so she would know (and give her one more day to find a toonie) Tonight is take two, I’m sure she’ll come tonight (I’m sure i’ll remember)
Seriously, is there no handbook on the ethics of Toothfairy-ism?