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Relationship Breakup? The BEST REAL ADVICE from a man!

   When relationships end, it happens in one of three ways, HE ends it...YOU end it,...or BOTH mutually agree to end it. In the cases of the second two, you already know why it ended. This week I'm going to tell you why HE ended it. You may not like some of the things I'm about to tell you, but you want the truth, don't you?

Are breakups inevitable?  

   Things don't look promising when it comes to relationships. According to Hellen Chen, a marriage "expert", 85% of relationships end in breakup. Assuming the other 15% end in marriage, 50% of those marriages will end in divorce. Using those statistics leads us to believe that only 7 - 1/2% of relationships will result in a long happy marriage. Shocking, if  not discouraging isn't it?

  Ready? Here comes the part where you're not going to like what I say.  I don't think it has to be that way if women just made wiser decisions. Relationships start with physical attraction, which is understandable. The problems begin when to women, that's enough to start with and expectations replace reality. Too many women think that the handsome exterior is all that matters and whatever is "wrong" with him, they will "fix". What they don't understand is, those things that are "wrong" with him (in their eyes) are the things that make him who he is. 

   You can't take a man, no matter how good looking he is, and change him into what you want. It may seem to work in the beginning, because the man is under the influence of a drug called sex. I'll admit, good steady sex will make men putty in a woman's hands, sometimes even making men think, "I've GOT to marry this girl!" 

   Love is accepting someone for who they are, not trying to change them into who you want them to be, especially if you're trying to make them more like a past lover. Imagine meeting a guy and you start dating and little by little he begins "suggesting" things to you like, "You'd really look great with long dark hair" or  "I'd like to see you dress like this." or " I think this hairstyle would look amazing on you." and one day the two of you are out somewhere and run into a girl that he introduces as his ex-girlfriend. You look at her and your jaw drops open and you think, "Oh my God! This son of a Bitch cloned me into his ex-girlfriend!"

     In complexity, men are probably slightly above the amoeba. Feed us pizza, wings, and philly steak subs, give us sex, let us watch tv, don't be a bitch and we're good! We like it that way.  What do men like in a woman? Men like women that are confident but not arrogant, smart but not belittling, and  above all, men like women that aren't a bitch. I was browsing the Amazon Kindle Store one day and saw a book titled "Why Men Love Bitches". I can ASSURE you that men don't love bitches. Men don't even LIKE bitches. Nobody likes a bitch. When was the last time you heard ANYONE say, "I really like her because she's such a bitch."?

   The truth is, men TOLERATE a bitch that is giving him sex on a regular basis. When the sex fades, (and it will), all you're left with is a bitch. Men also aren't big fans of needy, clingy women. 

   Men end relationships for many reasons. Maybe he told you the real reason or he gave you the old, "It's not you, it's me" speech. Whatever the case, what do you do after a breakup? Nothing. Keep being who you are,... unless you ARE a bitch, in which case I suggest you stop that.

   Young women often make the mistake of thinking that if she gets pregnant, it will "fix" the failing won't. More often than not it will just make things worse because the man will feel deceived and trapped. If he still wants out of the relationship, he will at the very least resent you if not hate you for getting pregnant because he will have to pay child support for the next 18 years.

   If he decides to stay because of the pregnancy, the resentment will still be there because that baby will not erase the reasons he wanted out of the relationship in the first place. Is it worth having him knowing he's unhappy with you?

   Don't take the low road. If he wants out, let him go. Be strong, be confident. Don't beg, don't plead and try not to let him see you cry. Don't sit and watch his apartment, don't stalk his Facebook. Just let him go. You'll find someone that you won't have to change and that won't want to change you. Take what you've learned from this relationship and use it to make the next one even better. Sometimes bad things happen for good reasons. 

     Breakups are never easy, but they're not the end of the world. They're a new beginning. If you're young, be grateful that it happened now. The older you get and the longer you've been together the harder it is. Throw children in the mix and it makes it even worse, but people's quest for happiness leads them to make tough choices sometimes and isn't happiness what life's all about? 

    Exes are exes for a reason. Maybe you've bought the books or read the websites that are about "how to get your ex back", and believe you can make it work. BIG mistake! Why would you want someone that doesn't want you? Getting him back would only make you look weak and desperate and give him the upper hand. and in the end cause you even greater unhappiness. 

     Instead of trying to win him back, the more satisfying thing you can do is make him regret leaving you. No, I don't mean going over to his place and smashing out his car windows or slicing his tires. I'm talking about holding your head high and moving on with your life as if you're glad to be rid of him.



      If you've just had a breakup, don't sit and cry. Call your friends, arrange a night out and go have some fun and laughs. If you meet some lucky guy, let him be himself and you be yourself. No expectations. Be good company and see what happens. 

This post first appeared on Discretion Reports, please read the originial post: here

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Relationship Breakup? The BEST REAL ADVICE from a man!


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