Why am I Failing?
Feeling stuck in a rut, trapped, like you just can’t imagine making a success of your life – whether you’re trying to do something specific or are considering your whole life? Are you Failing at something? What stops you from making a success of things?
Many of us like to believe we are constrained by time or money – it’s an easy thing to fall back on. But really, we can all free up more time and save more money if we want to.
Got no time? Get rid of your TV. Really need some extra money? Switch to cheaper utility providers, stop buying a morning Starbucks, stop subscribing to that glossy magazine, sell some stuff on ebay.
If you’ve done everything you can to control and manage the external things that seem to be hampering you, it’s time to look inside. Most often, what really stops us is ourselves…
Sometimes we can get trapped by our limiting beliefs or our comfort zone. We don’t believe we are good enough or deserving enough to succeed or we fear leaving our familiar ways and stepping up.
It’s really worth taking a look at what your ‘internal voice’ is saying. Does it tell you you’re not good enough or that you’re a failure anyway. That voice probably comes from fears you’ve had since childhood. Challenge that voice by replacing it with some facts that show what you have already achieved and mentally reassure that childhood echo that everything is going to be OK.
If you find you’re struggling to succeed with something, ask yourself are you really giving it your all? If you’ve got one eye on the past, or your thoughts are buzzing around like flies, you’re never fully present with the activity you’re trying to make a success of.
If you’re going to do something successfully, quieten your mind. Don’t allow yourself to engage with negative thoughts – just allow them to drift away from you as you focus in on what you’re trying to achieve.
An Overwhelming Task
If things feel really overwhelming, then commit to just making progress bit by bit. Fine-tune your focus onto what you want to achieve, set yourself a concrete goal, and keep going until you complete it..
There are some challenges which are truly great, and I won’t deny that, and sometimes it really is a struggle to get through them. They may be more general tasks such as respecting yourself more or overcoming a major difficult event in your life.
The trick with these sorts of things is to promise yourself that no matter what, today you will do at least ONE thing to make progress. Never again have a day where you don’t do something to help yourself, whether it’s reading an article, talking to someone about your problem, or practising being more mindful. If you keep having days where you do nothing at all to make progress, you’ll feel even more stuck. If you can keep making daily steps in the right direction, your self-esteem will grow and you’ll eventually end up at the door of success.
One Final Thought
For those of you, who think you’re an abject failure and can never have success, even though you seem to have been trying your hardest, please notice that you may not be failing at all – it may only be your inner voice that says you are. If you’re making progress, you’re not failing.
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