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Don't be So "Sorry"

Just read this word loud and clear to yourself.

What can you feel when you read this word?

Whenever we hear someone saying a sorry, we infer two very simple things out of it:

  • The person must have committed a mistake.
  • He/she must have realised his/her mistake.

Make sure you read the above statement carefully because this blog article will revolve around two basic principles behind using this word "sorry".

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"I know what I have done. Please don't tell me that again and again."
"I am telling you just because I am sure you have not got what I meant."
"I told you that I got you. What else do you need from me now?"
"I don't see that happening."
"Okay. I am really sorry for what I have done. Let's end this now."

So, what's your take from this conversation?

For people of my age, I am sure you will remember one of those cute, little fights you had with your "the one" (They are nothing like I described them. Better word would be little annoying. But if you want happiness to prevail, it is cute. And I am sure, you must have been trained enough to consider it as cute.)

So. coming back to our main point of discussion, what is your take my friend?

Do you see basic principles of this word "sorry" getting fulfilled here?

In such scenarios, when you apologize (just a fancy word for being sorry), do you think that you really meant it?

Let me say something using own experience (yes I have done similar things, sigh!!) and observation, people usually say a sorry just to fulfill this newly injected principle. This principle is strong and potent enough to replace both of those cute and little principles that I mentioned before. And this principle is strong enough to change everything. This principle is:

Just end it man! Sick of what is going on.

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Everyone commits mistakes and everyone is at fault several times. But what you do immediately after committing a mistake is not to search for a solution or a way to correct it but to go to the concerned person and say those 3 magical words.

"I am sorry"

In today's world, usage of this word is just to prove that you are a smart person.

Smart because you understand how this world works. You know that so called "social etiquette" governs that when you are at mistake, just say a sorry.

This word will basically, get you off hook. Because you have apologized to the affected party, you don't hold any responsibility now. In other words, you have done your bit.

Amazing part is that even if you say it with some arrogance and anger


It will be accepted 84% of the times.

Everyone knows it, whether you understand this or not. But consciously or unconsciously, we all follow this principle.

So, I should rephrase my sentence:

Everyone is smart enough to understand this pattern (expert with or without this knowledge). 

Today it is very important for people to listen to this word if someone has committed a mistake. People are least bothered about your feelings of guilt and remorse. They just use the number-of-times-this-word-is-used as a barometer to measure that how bad you are actually feeling.

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We all must have heard one example to understand what is called as "reflex response".

In a lay man's language, reflex response is that sudden response that our body gives in case of some external stimulus, that should be addressed at priority.

Coming to that example:

Original View: If you, by mistake, touch a hot plate; body gives a response to move your hand away and save it from burning.

Modern View: If you, by mistake, touch a hot plate; body gives a response to first say a sorry!!

*Note: I am not against the usage of this word, I am just trying to break the modern notion of using this word to escape any discussions or uncomfortable situations. Its better to discuss for a while and understand your mistake. Then accept it rather than just saying it for the sake of saying it. Because one principle also applies post usage of this word:

Will try never to repeat this mistake

This post first appeared on Mind- Think Some More, please read the originial post: here

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Don't be So "Sorry"


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