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Overscheduled: Kids Who Are Too Much in Demand

TEENS-WORKINGOur oldest is pushing his boundaries. We feel he might be pushing himself over the edge. Here are a few of his commitments (to which he wants to add):

Works 3 days/week.
Studies in university 3 days/week.
Has congregational duties 5-6 times/week.
Texts long-distance new girlfriend multiple times/day.
Takes home occasional work from job.
Visits the gym 3 days/week.
Goes for power walks with me 2 days/week.Boy-at-college
Volunteers another morning for 4 hours once/month.
Needs to research, go to conferences and present scholarly papers to grow in his field.
Lives in two cities, shuttling back and forth every week.

Naturally, this all becomes quite the juggling act. Maybe he’s following in my footsteps as an overachiever and over scheduler, there’s a thought.

On top of such a routine, now it turns out that he’s been offered more. A family friend who is a building contractor wants Petya to be part of his team, to work a couple days a week with his crews. He cited our son’s muscles, his enthusiasm, his muscles, his good attitude, his positive work ethic and did I mention his muscles?

man-gymHis time in the gym is paying off. The friend did not check with us.


I feel conflicted. Petya feels flattered and in demand.

In my opinion, every young man should master basic building skills. Constructing or renovating houses could be beneficial for anything from being able to do simple home repairs to buying and flipping homes. A couple of years ago, we had talked about maybe learning a few skills from this man and his crews which include his grown son, as well.

But now, Petya’s plate is overflowing. He doesn’t do so well with little sleep. Then again, he’s young and why shouldn’t A-tired-teenagerhe take on the world? It might be the kind of physical, outdoor work that could be a decent diversion. Or, it could lead him astray and cause him to lose focus on his real goals in life.

We’re going out for coffee, just the three of us, to discuss it. For now, I’m leaning toward allowing him to either do one day/week with the construction crew, or no days/week. It just seems like so much.

But a great opportunity.

What would you say to your over scheduled 20-year-old son… who wants to take on more?


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Overscheduled: Kids Who Are Too Much in Demand


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