Chow Kah grasps the arms of the chair lightly. “He’s attending a business conference in Jakarta. Asked me to convey his affectionate regards to Wati.” Eyes bugging wide, he sweeps his gaze from Kyaw’s face to her sandaled feet with appropriate stops along the way. “How’s your English, Kyaw?”

Kyaw twinkles her eyes at Chow Kah. “I graduated from Hinthada University in tourism studies.” Her English is excellent and Chow Kah twinkles his eyes back at her.

Mummy Lulu palms the small of Kyaw’s back, directing her to the wingback chair next to Chow Kah. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she adds with a nod, “Dagon Lager beer, right?” Her eyes shift sideways to Kyaw. “And a super-garland and big tray of tequila for your new-found girlfriend!”

Kyaw drops her butt on the wingback chair, and smoothes her long tresses over her shoulders. Her cheekbones can cut glass and the right side of her face is tinted bluish by the neon sign of a Carlsberg advertisement a cigarette-stub’s throw away.   

Chow Kah leans sideways. “Gee, you’ve such beautiful hair.”

A dent of puzzlement appears between Chow Kah’s eyes. “Huh? Perverts in China clamour for, err, pubic hair from a virgin?” He makes a face. “Yuks, some  sort of a fetish?

“Noooo….” Kyaw blasts out a giggle. “Hair from the head!’

“Oh, head hair only from a virgin?  I see. Hair from a married woman or a divorcee is worthless?”

A waiter brings the beer and tequila. “Oops, sorry, I forget the opener.”  Plastering a sheepish smile on his mahogany-coloured face, he scratches the back of his head. “I’ll be back.”

“Never mind about the opener,” Kyaw says and the waiter departs. One by one, she picks up the bottles and prises their caps off using her teeth under the shocked gaze of Chow Kah, his mouth agape.

A waitress arrives and collars Kyaw with a big garland. “Our hair is the softest in Asia.” Kyaw picks up the chit and shoves it inside a metal container. “You been to Myanmar?”

The foam has died down in his mug and Chow Kah takes a sip of his beer. “May go in the future.”

“Err, what about hair from other part of the body?”

“Don’t think dirty, darling.” A sly smile flitters around Kyaw’s lips and dies. “They’re different from head hair. Demand for our hair is so great that hair falls are also collected from combs in salons. But fetch lower prices since they’ve to be untangled first.” The Yangon babe crosses her legs and sucks in an inhale, expanding her bosom.  “Do you know there’re long hair competitions in Myanmar? Some of the contestants have hair reaching to the calves.” She exhales and her chest returns to normal. 

“Oh, why?”

“An over long-haired woman reminds me a pontianak.” Chow Kah mocks a shudder. “Pour white powder on her face and hair and what does she look like? A female ghoul.” The randy night-clubber stretches an arm to hold Kyaw’s hand. “Hair that falls around the shoulders is fine with me”

Kyaw leans towards Chow Kah and circles her fingers around his gnarled paw. “The University of Western Ontario conducted a study which found that men perceive women with long hair to be more attractive.” She pauses, grating her lips with an impish smile. “You find me attractive, darling?”

“Do women find balding man attractive?”

“I see! Drum roll! Ta-ta!” Chow Kah bares his crooked teeth in a grin. “From today, I needn’t wear my toupee!” He yanks off his wig and drops it on his lap. Revealed is short spiky hair and a large bald spot on the crown of his head. “Bah! Should have known about that university’s study earlier.”

“Oh Mother of God!” Kyaw jerks her head back. “You look, err, you look…” She twists her mouth into a moue of disgust.

Colour glows on Chow Kah’s cheeks. “Look what?”

“Cruel truth here.” Kyaw’s delicate shoulders become as stiff as her smile. “The study said bald men only look more masculine, more dominant, but, unfortunately, not more attractive.” Her smile morphs into a pitiful laugh.  

“Cheer up, darling.” Kyaw waggles her thin arched brows. “A fat wallet’s more important than not having hair.”  

/end