“Her friends laughed when my niece said she wanted to become a reporter!” Sneers Mummy Lulu. “But not all reporters are created equal.” She wags a gnarled finger at me. “Here’re two reporters who're in high-paid, respected posts--Vivian Salama and Natasha Khan.” She jabs at her cell phone and shows me the screen.

I nod my head, impressed, and hand the phone back to her.

“The bottom line is: Who’s your employer? What’re your qualifications?” Mummy Lulu pushes her phone down her neckline, where the bivalve of her bosom swallows it. “When my niece finishes her master's from DePaul and joins the Washington Post or NY Times, they’ll be laughing at the wrong side of their mouth.” 

/end