The fear of failure is the main obstacle to success in adult life. Many times we become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake,with seeking approval for security above all other considerations.The fear,we feel it in the front of the body,starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this fear in the bladder and in the irresistible need to run to the bathroom.
Another major fear that interferes with performance and inhibits expression,is the fear of rejection.We learn this in our childhood when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them,they give us love and approval.If we do something they don’t like,they withdraw their love and approval-which we interpret as rejection.
As adults, people raised with conditional love become preoccupied with the opinions of others.Many people develop a behavior which is characterized by hostility,suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined high standard.This is expressed in the attitude of "I have to, I have to," and is associated with the feeling that "I have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss" who has become a surrogate parent.
More than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of Failure and rejection. They are caught in the trap of feeling, "I can’t, but "I have to," "I have to," but "I can’t."
The Key to Peak Performance
The antidote to these fears is the development of courage, character and self-esteem.The opposite of fear is actually love,self-love and self-respect.Acting with courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to effect our behavior and our decisions.
Try these to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and overcome your fears.
Realize and accept that you can do anything you put your mind to.Repeat the words, "I can do it! I can do it!" whenever you feel afraid for any reason.
Continually think of yourself as a valuable and important person and remember that temporary failure is the way you learn how to succeed.
Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.