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Cross View Quadrants

When you're balanced in life, the 'art' is to keep it that way.
The Cross View Quadrant (CVQ) helps you to stay dynamically balanced.

This is how CVQ helps:
  • Just ask your best friend(s) to write down your best and improvable (worst) capabilities (character, skills, competences) on paper.
  • Independently, write down yourself, what you think your best and most improvable capabilities are.
  • Now draw a cross table (4 quadrants) of the two papers.

How to deal with the four quadrants to keep balanced or improve your relationship?

A. Quadrant ++
This Quadrant contains your positive capabilities that you and your friend agree on.

Enjoy those capabilities and be sure to spend enough time with each other to keep sharing them with your friend.

However, if both of you only find positive points and no differences, be aware. The risk that both of you are too entangled and have developed a follies a deux is substantial. If, in the future, the environment changes, differences will show up.
Go back and try to find minor or weak qualities, if necessary discover yourself with help of the core quality test.

B. Quadrant - -
This quadrant contains your negative or most improvable capabilities you and your friend agree on.

Together with your friend try to find out, if it's realistic or desirable to improve your capabilities or not. If not, confirm, accept - and sometimes - even learn to enjoy them. If improvable, ask for your friends help and feedback to improve your capabilities.

C. Quadrant + -
This quadrant contains positive capabilities that you think you have. However your friend doesn't recognize or mention them, or even thinks they're your weakest points.

There are several ways to deal with this:

  1. You're sure of this strong point, but your friend doesn't like it
    Be sure this is really a strong capability, by checking with other friends. If so, learn to accept and respect your friends flavor. Keep this point in your pocket and save it for other friends. Don't try to convince your friend (in hours of discussions) of this strong quality of yours, it could start to undermine your relationship.

  2. Your friend criticizes your best quality as weak
    Try to find out if you're 'over the hill' and what originally was a fine quality has become 'too much of a good thing'.
    Anyhow, keep more of this quality respectful in your pocket.

  3. You haven't been able to demonstrate your strong point yet
    Simply show it!

D. Quadrant - +
This quadrant contains positive capabilities your friend recognizes in you, but you don't think you have them, experience them as negative or are unconscious about them.

This is the most trickiest quadrant. Let's discuss the options:

  1. You're unconscious of the strong points addressed
    If you were unconscious of the strong points addressed by your friend, think why? Now you are aware of this quality, enjoy it, don't go 'demonstrating' it, but keep using it spontaneously and in a relaxed way.

  2. You think this positive point is not (that of) a quality of yours
    It's tricky to mention and discuss this, certainly in a business relationship.

    Most promotions and appointments are done by bossing bosses who think they know you well. They have a positive biased view on your capabilities. Moreover, they often select you because they notice that you have the same qualities as they have.

    By discussing your qualities, your boss could become disappointed because it now turns out he had the wrong view. He might also think that you and he are not 'on the same page', or he might even be offended.

    So if your boss thinks you're super intelligent, a top sales executive or a born leader, think twice before you disappoint him by denying or discussing it.

    Try to listen and find out why your boss thinks the way he does. This might give you a new sight on yourself.

Success in applying the CVQ in business and life!

This post first appeared on Selfbetterment, please read the originial post: here

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Cross View Quadrants


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