Perhaps it'll be disappointing and hard to acknowledge, but there's no objective 'Real YOU'. There's only the 'Perceived YOU', Perceived by others or yourself and strongly dependent on the context you're operating in.
Here's the simple proof.
Read out loud, from top to bottom, the next three characters:
This was quite simple, wasn't it?
Let's go to step two.
Now read out loud, from left to right, the next three characters:
Now read out loud the character in the middle:
The middle character
The character in the middle isn't just the letter 'B' nor is it the number '13', it has the potention of being both. Only when it is 'perceived', it takes a definitive value (appearance), depending on the character context and the characteristics of the perceiver.
If the context is a story or a literal phrase, the character will be perceived as the letter "B". If the context consists of numbers, the character will be perceived as number "13".
What if there is no context (not possible) or very little and we show up just the character in the middle?
In general, apart from context, a perceiver P Rates or measures a target T on an attribute X can be defined as:
Rx(P,T,R) = Perceiver effect + Target effect + Relationship effect + Constant
In case with no context and very little Target- or Relationship Effect, the perception depends (almost) totally on the identity and experiences of the perceiver (Perceiver Effect).
If the perceiver is a writer or has a non-science background, the character will probabely be perceived as the letter "B". In case of a scientist, or mathematician, the character will mostly be seen as the number "13".
The Real YOU
Now with you, yourself, it's just the same. There is no objective or context-independent "Real YOU". There is no YOU without others. There's only the YOU that's perceived by others or yourself (self reflection).
So think twice about how you pick your context (friends, social environment, employer, town). If you don't like the way people perceive you, change or reprogram your habits and consider picking a new 'context'.
In fact the same principles as in "quantum mechanics" apply:
- If you measure 'light' as a wave, you'll perceive it as a wave.
- If you measure 'light' as a particle, you'll perceive it as a particle.
- If you would have 'measured' it as anything els, like 'weight', 'energy' or a 'potato', it would have been perceived as 'that' as well.
Back to YOU
It's the same with people that have a perception of YOU. They'll value you at their biased percepted properties. Just like yourself, they'll never get to know the ultimate 'real you', it simply isn't there.
So this means the real YOU is mainly the YOU IN OTHERS (apart from your narcissistic biased self). That's why it's so important to choose friends in life that believe in YOU.
Only real friends will accept you without conditions. They recognize and reflect your initial intentions in life ( You=Me principle) and therefore accept to live an fight with all of your good an bad (perceived) 'properties' (personality, habits, etc).
The real you is 'there'
Don't get mixed up now you found out the 'real you' doesn't 'exist'. It only means the 'real you' isn't perceivable, visible or knowable (only the attributes).
The real you is out there where no living human being has access to (let's cal it the i-dimension). It's very valuable, enjoy it in life, it's a gift.......
This post first appeared on Selfbetterment, please read the originial post: here