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Hey Aaron!

I was 40 weeks and there's no sign of labor, baby's head is still floating (could be due to my pelvic bone shape that doesn't baby's head engagement) . Whatever lah! basically baby is not coming out. Placenta is heavily calcified according to the doctor that it might not serve its full function at anytime.

So, I went to "surrender" myself on the 7th of June, after giving the baby two days to give me any sign of not going for a c-section. Personally, I have never been so indecisive in my life but this decision is something that left me thinking and sleepless too. For me c-section is a major abdominal surgery and it takes longer time to recover because I do not want to be off from my fitness routine for so long. Anyway, enough for thinking only for myself, now its not only about me.

I got the bracelet as a ticket for my 3 days 2 nights "vacation" in the hospital ward. I have never been warded before, let alone having an IV drip - now, I am in for a major Surgery. Okay, enough of this thinking and thinking, just do it!

The stylish uniform, moments before being wheeled in by a wheelchair to the OT. I was like, hmm, I can walk, why the wheelchair. Bah, biarlah. Then, I am being transferred to a bed, wheeled in again. OMG, this transition is to set my mind to be in the OT mode is it?? I was nervous AF at that time but I can only smile to mask it. Pretending to be strong, it is all in the mind. Yes. Luckily, the mister was around and he is the key to my strength. I can't imagine to go through everything alone.

To sum everything up in the OT:

  • Got my first IV drip ever in my life. I thought the branula insertion will hurt, tidak pula. LOL
  • Spinal block inserted (I feared this the most), mine was done while I was lying on my side and was being asked to curve myself like a ball. I just don't wanna know how they did it, but the sensation felt after that is just WEIRD
  • Got prepped for surgery, the curtains up and God knows whatever they are doing to me behind the curtain.
  • I only see my husband once they are ready for surgery. He was not there during the spinal block insertion (in which I thought he will be there during that time...boohoo!)
  • There was a moment where I can't breathe and I thought I was dying. Adui. It was SUPER uncomfortable. SUPER SUPER uncomfy moment (later on few weeks post surgery then only my husband said that was the time when they start to cut me open)
  • They push push my stomach. Haha. Terus nda susah lagi mo bernafas. LOL
  • My baby didn't cry when he came out, too comfy. He only cried when he was being cleaned.
  • After all those, then only I feel drowsy and I felt so tired

My first time meeting Aaron. I thought I would cry like those other birthing moments. But I am more stunned to actually know that my Baby is now out. Hahaha. Terkajut bah!

Then of course the recovery post op was very unpleasant. I could not feel my legs for at least 5 to 6 hours. I am constantly on pain killer. For the first 24 hours, I am on bed rest with a catheter to drain my urine. I can't hold my baby like other SVD moms could as I was high on painkiller and still half paralyzed.

It was only by nightfall that they put my baby next to me start suckling. In which another frustration comes as I am a first time mother, no breast milk yet and I just had a c section. The hormones doesn't kick in as fast as the SVD moms. Oh well, cuddle time saja la. 

Thank you to those who made an effort to visit me at the hospital. After the whole experience, I see people around me in a new light especially my husband. I saw another side of him that I never seen before and I love him more for that. 

Yah, horrible face post operation. But my kudou still on fleek. Hahaha. sempat bah pigi bikin kening sebelum beranak

Andui kasian bah have to put up on the sofa saja, sajuk lagi tu aircon tu.

We are so happy to see our bundle of joy. I am embracing everything like a trainwreck. I am also so thankful to my family (especially Mom) who went for the extra mile in helping me to take care of the baby, the tips and guides. My family is a good team for taking care of me and the baby during the confinement and during my meltdowns.

Me and the mister are embracing the sleepless nights, aching arms and nappy changes like a noob. Kasian bah! First time parents kan. But it gets better every day lah. That's the mantra.

This post first appeared on Joan Says...., please read the originial post: here

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