How to have social power and confidence in dealing with people?
Dealing with others has been proven to be the most essential skill necessary for everyone; both in their social and professional lives. There is immense power in learning the art of human relations when Dealing with your personal life and mostly in the professional and corporate industries.
Research has it that most companies and organisations not only seek for professional experts but also those who can relate well with others and as well lead and influence those around them.
History clearly shows the lives of successful leaders, businessmen and politicians who mastered the art of human relations and succeeded a great deal in their respective fields; Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein etc, they all recognized the power in relating to others with Confidence and power.
The 5 Laws of Power and Confidence:
1) Reputation
Leadership is the ability to influence others and give them a reason to follow your views and perspective of life. It’s human nature to respect those who they believe and know have attained respect from others and this would make it quite easy for you when dealing with them.
For example; when trying to quell an argument, it wouldn’t just take anyone to bring two conflicting parties to agreement. One with a known reputation of good human relations would come in handy as he/ she would already have already attained their respect and would therefore be in a better position to help the two parties reason out.
2) Caution with words
It has been proven on many attempts that words play a great role in enhancing human relations and respect. People generally appreciate positive words on them and one who masters the use of appropriate words on people can gain respect and total confidence when dealing with others.
Arguments and rebuke is just a way of finding out who is wrong but discussions and good words on others is a way of showing them what is wrong and possibly in the end it would impact some positive change on someone’s life.
Generally all humans love appreciation and being cautious with words you use on them comes a long way in improving your relationship and in turn stirring positive change in them.
For example; as a team leader or coach, your team might have not done great in one of their competitions. How do you motivate and inspire them from this point? Lashing harsh words of rebuke at them would definitely hurt their morale, instead, words of encouragement such as “We might have not achieved what we needed today but there is always another chance in life called tomorrow” would without doubt earn you respect and in turn motivate them.
3) Succeed through actions; not arguments
People find it easier to follow what you do instead of what you say and therefore it would be a plus if one mastered the power of influencing others through their actions rather than arguments and rebuke.
Rebuke tends to make people rebel against you and this would include friends and family members. They would definitely do something they have seen you do rather than do something because you scolded them or forced it on them. Its like a drunken dad telling his son never to drink, it doesn’t work right?
A situational example; as a parent or as someone other young ones look up to; you cant just expect to influence the young ones by constantly advising them and rebuking whatever wrong they do. You need them to work hard? Let them see you work hard. You need them to avoid drinking and smoking? Be an example to them, show them the way by your actions.
4) Appeal to self interest; not need and mercy
Dealing with others involves a bit of strategy and one strategy involves appealing to people’s self interests i.e when you need something from someone, don’t appear needy and wanting. This affects relationships too; people tend to respond to your needs when you have something to deliver to them unlike when you portray yourself needy.In most cases, show what you bring to the table and how it benefits the other person.
For example examine the following statements;
1) ” Marianne, would you please take me to the supermarket, after which we can go grab some lunch.”
2) ” Marianne, please take me to the supermarket. I am so afraid of walking alone in the streets.”
In the 1st statement, Marianne would definitely take her shopping as she also has something she gains from the whole encounter; she was going to be taken out for lunch. However in the 2nd statement, Marianne would be reluctant as there is no benefit she gets and furthermore she is only required there to help the lady overcome her fears of walking alone.
5) Act royal
Need to be respected by others? Need to have the influence thus the confidence when dealing with people?
One of the greatest techniques you must master is the art of being royal. Royal in whatever you do, whatever you say, how you dress, walk and talk.
Respect is something earned, be it in your social circle or even in your professional life. You literally dictate how people react towards you depending on how you carry out yourself. Its said the Lion is still the king of the jungle but the wolf doesn’t perform in the circus.
You should earn your friends’, peers’, classmates’ and workmates’ respect by how you live you life and the little details about it; understanding others, not appearing too smart wise, limiting your boundaries and most of all showing kindness, respect and appreciation towards others.
For example; If one of your rowdy schoolmate was harassing another student at school and you, who is considered to be very wise and royal both in character and actions, decide to get into it and stop the bully, what would happen? Out of the respect accorded to you by how you carry out yourself, the bully would listen to you and stop.
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