"You attract people by the qualities you display, you keep them by the qualities you posses."
"You don't attract what you want, you attract what YOU ARE."
-Dr. Wayne Dyer-
A friend of my husband that he knew for a long time have no problem finding someone. However, finding someone to be with him for the rest of his life is another story. I have said the same thing when my ex-grandmother in law asked me if I found someone yet to replace her grandson. I told her, "I found many, but I am waiting for the one who wants to stay and commit,"
I waited for the one I "wanted" (maybe I showed what I really am) and yes, he came along. I have to change a lot to keep the one I wanted. He does follow the "golden rule" and change myself for him. After fifteen years I can say that we grew closer in our ways and almost always knew each other thoughts about certain things.
He does brag about me to everyone he knew and they are jealous saying how lucky he is, and they wished they found someone like me. NO, it doesn't work that way. If one of them found me first, I don't think I will like any of them. However, most of the time I think I'm still lacking many qualities of what he brags about. I am not perfect and I am not trying to be one. If I don't feel good I don't do anything productive but still taking care of our children and MIL. I don't clean the house everyday, and I don't always cook lunch or dinner. And he's fine with it, I do not hear any complaint from him.
I can wear what I want, I did not grow up wearing anything provocative, he doesn't have to worry about it. I can spend money whenever I want. No, I don't spend it buying make-up, jewelry, perfumes, and name brand items. And I never spend carelessly. I have to make sure we have money for food and bills first. He always say, if he married someone like him, they will never have any money left in their bank account. So, I'm glad for that.
He tells me if he doesn't like what I did. He "nip it in the bud" right away. That's fine with me. This by the way has nothing to do with shopping, spending money or doing my sahm duty. This have something to do on how I deal with other people.
So, let's get back to my topic.
You don't look for a perfect wife qualities, you have to mold her just the way you like your wife to be. Make sure they like to be mold. Of course if she can't, time to let her go and find someone else. In my opinion your relationship will never get better. If you notice something she does that you don't like, tell her right away. If she didn't like what you said and she don't want to correct it, it's a problem. This works both ways.
DH friend wants the all American sexy, blonde, beautiful, and big breast type. She is a perfect ten outside, how about inside? Also, don't settle for what is around you. Expand your search, the one you are looking for might be somewhere else and just waiting for what you can offer. Get to know her better, not just what they are showing you, try deeper. But then again everyone is different. I can't tell you what sign to look for. There are many things that bothers DH and I in this world. Others might not even care about them.
I told him about one of my friend at a social network, but he never bother knowing her better. So, she is not his type but she is a wife material. Love might not be at first sight but love can grow between two people if they talk enough and knowing what each other liked.
Part 2, I will talk about having strong and solid opinion to right and wrong.