2024-04-18 14:04
Thought of the dayI use AI and ChatGPT for work.I have also been in a blog slump regarding my writing.I thought let's see if ChatGPT can help me out.My prompt was, "Write a 300-word funny st… Read More
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Confessions Of A Dumb, White Guy Blog
matthewshifley.blogspot.com
How do I describe this blog?
A line from "Old School" with a minor tweak.
"My friends, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my blog as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here."
2024-04-11 16:04
Thought of the dayAh, procrastination – my trusty companion. How do we describe thee? I consulted my wise sage, Google, who eloquently defined it as the art of doing everything e… Read More
2024-04-04 21:50
Thought of the dayI needed to hear this today.But, I also thought it would be nice to share it because someone else might need to hear it too. So here it is: You may need to… Read More
2024-03-28 17:22
Thoughts of the dayHappy almost birthday, Kyle!! Any guesses on how old he will be? Do you need a hint? He just got his driver's permit and I have been relegated to the backseat. Mrs… Read More
2024-03-14 17:19
Thoughts of the dayCan you name all of the Spice Girls? Mrs. Shife and I could only come up with Sporty Spice. I did suggest Old Spice and Pumpkin Spice. I would not do well if this was a "J… Read More
2024-03-07 17:26
Thoughts of the daySuck it, Phil. You didn't see your shadow and we were supposed to get an early spring.Liar!! Really nice, groundhog.Who would have thought that marmots don't ma… Read More
2024-02-29 20:56
Thoughts of the dayI am sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why the Leap Day falls in February but it would be nice if we could have that extra day in June or Septem… Read More
2024-02-22 22:14
Thoughts of the dayThanks for the well-wishes and empathy for having a turd of a doctor. I am not quite 100 percent but I am getting there. To try and stay positive about this whole si… Read More
2024-02-15 23:04
Thoughts of the day Apologies for not posting last week but I had the procedure done on my nose. Can you guess how it went based on the meme I used this week? I was… Read More
2024-02-01 20:21
Thoughts of the dayIs anyone excited about the Super Bowl matchup? I am not and might not even watch. Can you think of any reason why someone would want COVID19 as their vanity pl… Read More
2024-01-26 00:12
Thought of the dayI have had a few observations since we last talked:I like watching college basketball but this season I am watching way more games that are played by the women. You can cal… Read More
2024-01-18 21:51
Thought of the dayWell, we get more than 18 inches.I think we are up to 23 inches since we last talked. And the kids are on their third snow day. The last time it was this bo… Read More
2024-01-11 17:54
Thought of the dayWe had our first snow day of the year yesterday and everyone was pretty happy about it.The kids didn't have school and the dogs thought the fluffy stuff was fun to play in… Read More
2024-01-04 22:53
Thought of the dayHappy New Year!! I hope you enjoyed the holidays. We are doing well at Casa de Shifley and looking forward to a fantastic 2024.I go to the gym a lot.I also know w… Read More
2023-12-21 15:42
Merry Christmas!! I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season and I will see you right back here in 2024.Isn't it wild that it is going to be 2024? Thanks for sharing your… Read More
2023-12-14 20:04
Thought of the dayHere are the December collars for the doggos (thanks for the reminder, Debby).The Swedish ball massager (Ms. Frizzle) and the Norweigan couch hippo (Lucy) are enjoying the… Read More
2023-12-07 22:02
Thought of the dayThis will be my 110th post of the year, which is the second-most blog updates I have done since I started COADWG back in 2005. During that inaugural year, I posted 224 time… Read More
2023-12-01 00:29
Thought of the dayI am adding something to the list of things that I feel have slightly misleading names.Some examples include:Peanut: A legume, not a nutRussian dressing: Invented in New Ha… Read More
2023-11-16 22:44
Thought of the dayI have the high ground, Dad. - Kyle Kyle modified a Star Wars quote to let me know that he is now officially taller than me. Hopefully, things go better for… Read More
2023-11-08 21:42
Thought of the dayProud poppa moment.Kyle's cross-country team had their awards banquet last night and he earned a varsity letter as a freshman. He started practicing in June so, if I h… Read More
2023-11-02 20:47
Pics of the dayKyle was a sheet ghost this year - you can ask but I have no idea - and Hayden was a fairy. This might be the last year that Kyle goes out trick or treating but I think H… Read More
2023-10-31 14:04
Thought of the dayToday is a day that I never thought would happen.I just couldn't imagine that I would have the strength or the courage to hit this milestone.You need to make a decision: on… Read More
2023-10-25 20:02
Thought of the dayI was getting ready to shut my bedroom door when I heard a rather heavy sigh. I was a little startled because I thought I was the only one in the room. Turn… Read More
2023-10-24 19:48
Thought of the dayI was asking Lucy why she was being naughty and her #1 supporter a.k.a Hayden reminded me that a well-behaved basset seldom makes history. It stopped me in my tracks and ma… Read More
2023-10-23 23:43
Thought of the dayYour nipples are older than your teeth. Meme dumpThanks for stopping by.I hope you have a fantastic day.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the strea… Read More
2023-09-24 19:47
Where In The World Have You Been Mr. Shife Poll? a) Relocated to Brazil to start my waxing internship. b) Re-relocated back to America. Turns out you don't have to move to South Am… Read More
2023-08-26 22:35
Well, it only took 9 days for me to update this time.I am making progress, right? Things are absolutely bonkers right now.Today is Saturday and this is what is going on in our neighborh… Read More
2023-08-17 19:27
I followed your advice, Joanne. If you don't know, Joanne, then I would recommend you remedy this by visiting her blog, Cup on a Bus. She always gives great advice and I decided to list… Read More
2023-08-01 19:49
Holy cannoli, I might combust.Will it help if I do angel dust? It's going to be another hot one. August has begun. How are you doing? Can you believe it is only 145 days… Read More
2023-07-27 19:41
Meme dumpFor anyone who might need to hear this today or tomorrow or whenever.Thanks for stopping by and saying hello. I hope you have a fantastic weekend and I will talk to you later… Read More
2023-07-26 21:41
Are you familiar with this Napolean Hill quote?"Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent."Well, if you are moron… Read More
2023-07-24 21:35
Who wore it better? The theme should become evident after a few of the photos and the answer should be an 😉 easy one. 😉And bonus points if you know all of the movies.&nb&hell…Read More
2023-07-20 22:16
Meme dumpWell, that is my week and I am outta here. Good night, good luck, be well and I will talk to you on Monday. Enjoy your weekend.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I wi… Read More
2023-07-19 22:44
The list I shared yesterday definitely sparked some memories and made me wonder why these songs mean so much to me. For some of them, the answer was easy like "Remember When" by Alan Ja… Read More
2023-07-18 18:46
I recently shared a new song that made its way onto my "My Eyes Are Just A Little Sweaty Today" playlist and Debra She Who Seeks was curious to know what other songs I have that go well when… Read More
2023-07-17 22:41
My sincerest apologies to Axl Rose and the rest of Guns -N- Roses for taking their classic rock anthem "Paradise City" and turning it into something that no one can be proud of: Take me… Read More
2023-07-13 20:23
For the love of fat bassets, sweet Lucy Lou is 1 today!! We love our extra spicy, floppy, independent-minded, goofy, lovable, charming, chomping and splooti… Read More
2023-07-12 13:43
I am sharing my meme dump a day early because tomorrow someone that is very near and dear to us celebrates a milestone and I need to share that with all of my wonderful blogging friends.Take… Read More
2023-07-11 19:44
I mentioned yesterday that we spent some time away from home.Things didn't get off to a promising start as I had to make a visit to Urgent Care and I learned that I had a scratch on my corne… Read More
2023-07-10 22:51
What's that underneath my thigh? Oh, it's lots of sweat... it must be July! Sweet Lincoln's mullet, it is hot.It's going to be near 100 for the foreseeable future. How are t… Read More
2023-06-30 01:20
Hi there.An extra helping of memes today as my blogging presence will be pretty sporadic - and by sporadic I mean non-existent but you never know - next week as I will be busy doing some 4th… Read More
2023-06-29 01:25
The name of this blog is Confessions of a Dumb White Guy but it has been a bit since I actually confessed something to you. Well, buckle up, because I got one. Mrs. Shife and I wat… Read More
2023-06-27 15:16
If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only watch one of the following actor's movie catalog (Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, or Tom Hanks), which one would you choose? Harrison… Read More
2023-06-26 16:29
Hello, my fabulous and wonderful blogging friends!How are you today?I am well but I am still trying to wrap my head around that this is the last week of June and that the temperature is goin… Read More
2023-06-22 20:35
Titan update: All five were declared dead as the submarine implodedMeme dumpTake care, thanks for swinging by, and have a great weekend. I'll talk to you Monday.I will persevere.I will keep… Read More
2023-06-21 15:06
A few months ago, I wrote about some of my fears and I can add another one to the list: being trapped inside a tiny submarine.Are you familiar with the story? I wasn't too intrigued but… Read More
2023-06-20 17:58
Happy last day of Spring or is it Happy Summer's Eve? I don't know how things are in your neck of the woods but I am hoping our summer is more normal than our spring. It has been a litt… Read More
2023-06-19 19:32
Are you familiar with the term "douche canoe"? I recently heard it again and forgot how much I like the way it sounds. Do you have a favorite comedian? I don't know if I do anymore. The… Read More
2023-06-15 16:21
Meme dumpWell, that is it for me this week. Thanks for stopping by, have a great rest of your week, and Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. I will persevere.I will keep… Read More
2023-06-14 22:31
Is that a look of satisfaction or regret? Ms. Lucy celebrated turning 11 months old by getting into the treat drawer and devouring anything and everything that resembled a treat. We usu… Read More
2023-06-13 17:31
So you are saying that Kyle and I look alike? I don't see it.Ha. I kid.There's no doubt that he's my kiddo.I really liked what Debby said in the comments yesterday: "I have to raise th… Read More
2023-06-12 16:25
How it startedHow it's going We were doing some spring cleaning this past weekend and ran across an old photo of yours truly with basset hound #2, Higgins. He was my first basset hound… Read More
2023-06-08 15:15
Meme dumpThank you for stopping by and I hope you are doing great. I will probably talk to you on Monday.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream. Read More
2023-06-07 21:22
I was reminded once again that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Kyle was less than enthusiastic when I asked him if I could share his poem on my blog yesterday.We started… Read More
2023-06-06 17:26
He's going to be taller than me sooner than later and now he has stolen my glory as the only published author in the house. Kyle participated in the 2023 Idaho Middle School Writing Cha… Read More
2023-06-05 14:53
It feels way too soon but hey, it's June! How you doing? I am doing pretty good.Thanks for asking. We took a little vacation to the Golden State for a family wedding and now I… Read More
2023-05-27 20:58
The photo probably gives it away but we are not at our usual stomping grounds. We traveled to our niece's wedding and, if I must say so myself, we cleaned up pretty well. The last… Read More
2023-05-26 21:37
For reasons that will be explained later, I have to share another meme dump. More Mr. Shife-based content should appear soon. Happy Friday and I am pretty sure I will talk to you t… Read More
2023-05-25 14:59
Meme dumpHappy Junior Friday and I might talk to you tomorrow.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-05-24 20:03
Are you familiar with the term "going bananas" or "they went bananas?" Is there an equivalent fruit for the opposite of going bananas? Perhaps you are going plums or they went kumquats? &hell…Read More
2023-05-23 22:33
The highest of fives to Kathy G for making me aware of the Bing image creator. I've been having a blast putting together some interesting creations thanks to my new AI friend, DALL-E.&n&hell…Read More
2023-05-22 19:44
I have previously mentioned that my sweet tooth went out of control when I stopped drinking. Now it makes sense why they always offer donuts at AA meetings. I quit drinking on Hall… Read More
2023-05-22 00:33
Meme dumpHope you are doing fantastic and I might talk to you tomorrow.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-05-21 01:10
We went clothes shopping for Kyle to find something to wear at an upcoming wedding. He surprised me with the type of shirt he wanted.I was also ecstatic because I am a big fan of these… Read More
2023-05-19 20:53
Hayden has a pretty boss move when she goes up to bat.She asks the pitcher for a moment so she can get ready in the batter's box.I don't know where she picked it up from but it makes me laug… Read More
2023-05-18 13:57
I present for your viewing pleasure, the unhappiest basset:Kyle and Hayden took Ms. Frizzle out to play fetch and Lucy wasn't invited.She didn't take the news well. Lucy couldn't… Read More
2023-05-17 17:25
Who wears it better? A) just looks silly but the idea of a dog wearing pants is also silly so does it matter if it is A or B. The real debate should be why we think dogs need to wear pa… Read More
2023-05-16 21:00
Pretend that I am a substitute blogger and we are going to watch a movie today instead of reading about Mr. Shife's latest and greatest adventures (part of the reason I don't feel like posti… Read More
2023-05-15 20:11
I was extremely happy to see this in my email:It has been about 2 1/2 months since I felt like I last saw that type of Google Calendar update.Kyle is done with track.Hayden is done with soft… Read More
2023-05-14 18:00
Happy Mother's Day! I feel like my earlier post about my moms didn't invoke the warm fuzzies so I am going to try and redeem myself with some humor.Mother's Day MemesHope you are having… Read More
2023-05-13 13:39
Meme dumpHappy Saturday! I might talk to you tomorrow.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-05-12 15:56
An early Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous and wonderful folks out there.You are the best.It's one of the toughest jobs in the world and there are days when you might feel like you are… Read More
2023-05-11 17:54
As I am attempting to age gracefully, I find myself taking more and more stuff to help meet that goal.I am currently taking three prescriptions and then a bunch of supplements.From left to r… Read More
2023-05-10 23:15
Any rebroadcast, retransmission, or account of this letter which was written by a funny lady named Wendi Aarons, without the express written consent of the aforementioned funny lady named We… Read More
2023-05-09 19:42
I was in the pet store today when I heard a blast from the past playing over their intercom system:I'm on a Mexican radioI'm on a Mexican whoa-oa radioWall of Voodoo and the only song I know… Read More
2023-05-08 20:11
Three different topics.Answer one, answer none, answer all three. Option AWould you rather have spaghetti for hair or sweat mayonnaise? Option BCan you tell which teams I don't lik… Read More
2023-05-08 01:07
Did you have a Sunday Funday? Mine wasn't too shabby. Woke up at 10 am. Not sure why but I was lacking the motivation to rise and shine. I didn't go to bed late either. I guess I j… Read More
2023-05-06 20:38
Meme dumpHappy Saturday! Hope you are fabulous and I might talk to you tomorrow.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-05-05 17:00
Happy Cinco de Mayo!Do you have any plans? We have an exciting day of meeting a possible dog trainer for Lucy. Lucy treats every day like she is celebrating Mexico's victory over t… Read More
2023-05-04 15:55
Hey, it's May!And it is also Star Wars Day.May the Fourth be with you.I am a little late with my monthly update but better late than never, right?Well, I guess you will be the judge of that… Read More
2023-05-03 17:02
English is a tricky language. Here's a very humorous example:And, I'll take "Not What I Was Expecting to See When I Walked Into The Dining Room" for $400, Alex.Someone left some cake c… Read More
2023-05-02 23:20
I wasn't prepared for the backlash against my current favorite candy. And then I made a small error by inferring that Twizzlers were licorice.They are not because they do not include li… Read More
2023-05-01 22:09
Oh heck.Let's see how long I can keep this going. This should be interesting. I am going with the Good & Plenty but the Sweetarts wouldn't be far behind. Not that you aske… Read More
2023-04-30 14:41
Well, that's a wrap for April.I've enjoyed this month of blogging way more than any other month I have done. Probably because of you, my wonderful blogging friends. Thanks for bein… Read More
2023-04-29 16:47
Today is a milestone for me as I hit 6 months sober. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around but I did it. Ironically, I will be spending a chunk of my day in Mountain Home for Hayden… Read More
2023-04-28 15:33
Do you have a favorite type of shit? Whoa.There has to be a better way to say that. Right, Tobias? What is your favorite expression on the shit list? Is that phrased better?&n&hell…Read More
2023-04-27 14:45
Meme dumpHappy Friday Eve. See you tomorrow and stay cool.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-04-26 15:19
Another question answered today and this one is from Debra She Who Seeks. Debra is relatively new to the DWG universe but in the short time that we have corresponded, I have found her to be… Read More
2023-04-25 16:14
Thank you for the birthday wishes.Much appreciated and I am extremely grateful that I have folks in my life that make me feel special. I had a good day. Nothing too exciting.At my… Read More
2023-04-24 15:40
Today I celebrate the anniversary of my birth so it seems like a good time to answer another question especially since it is birthday related.This one comes from Margaret, who is a retired t… Read More
2023-04-23 15:20
Another day, another question that I get the honor of answering. This one is from Joanne, who lives in Ohio and is currently trying to convince her new cat that she is nice and they sho… Read More
2023-04-22 13:56
I proudly present some of my latest humor. We picked up Kyle from his track meet. He was hanging out with a friend that we hadn't met before and his name was Ezra. As we were heading ho… Read More
2023-04-21 16:17
Meme dumpHappy Friday, thanks for saying hello and I will talk to you tomorrow.I will persevere.I will keep moving forward.I will be the stream Read More
2023-04-20 16:50
Happy 4/20 day!Marijuana and me never really agreed. It mellowed me out way too much and I just wanted to stare at the lights. I know some people get super paranoid when they smoke… Read More
2023-04-19 14:46
Last week, I asked if there were any questions that my wonderful blogging friends wanted to ask. And you didn't disappoint.Here's one from Ed, who I feel might be an unknown relative or… Read More
2023-04-18 16:02
It's Tax Day. One of my least favorite days of the year. I will let you draw your own conclusions.I started my softball season yesterday and I played like I hadn't played since last October… Read More
2023-04-17 14:41
In the last two weeks, we have had concert reveals for some big events in our area.The Western Idaho Fair and the Boise Open (golf) both dropped the names of the acts that will be performing… Read More
2023-04-17 00:25
I haven't given Ms. Frizzle a lot of blog love lately so I wanted to share this blast from the past that never got published. Based on the photo, our favorite lab was about 2-3 months old an… Read More
2023-04-15 13:33
Here are some of my favorite movie scenes when I need to turn a frown upside down.Do you have something that you can always count on to cheer you up? "Just Friends""Sorority Boys""Bill… Read More
2023-04-14 15:42
Ms. Lucy just turned 9 months old and in honor of that momentous day in the Shifley household, I proudly present the basset hound meme dump. Happy Friday. Take care and I will talk to y… Read More
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